


The future is ours to create

by agnewrl



Category: The 100 (TV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-09
Updated: 2018-10-17
Packaged: 2019-06-24 09:29:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 31,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15627762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agnewrl/pseuds/agnewrl
Summary: This starts on the ship at the end of 5x13. If you haven't seen the season 5 finale, watch it first. I will explore all relationships and what becomes of our heroes and friends, including Becho, please read before you judge. Feedback is always appreciated.





	1. cryo me to sleep

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't imagine how I was going to start a fanfic based on the season finale, but this came to me when I woke up this morning.

The air hissed with the sound of pods closing softly preserving the last 412 members of the human race until the earth would once again be habitable. The fight for Eden was brutal, the losses were great, but perhaps none as great as losing the earth itself. Eventually, the relationships would be repaired, perhaps not forgotten, but at least forgiven. The question was would the earth recover from a third apocalypse? “Only time will tell” Echo looked up at Bellamy from her pod “everything did change” she reached up stroking his cheek softly “we came back and rather than fix anything, we destroyed it. Again” she sighed. 

Bellamy took her hand in his “yeah, I guess it did” he replied sadly, his gaze turning to where Clarke was talking softly to Madi. Echo followed his gaze “they’ll be okay” she assured him “they spent a long time taking care of each other.” He nodded “I hope so” he responded kneeling next to her pod “I love you” he kissed her softly “I’m sorry everything changed.” She smiled gently up at him “I love you, too” she returned squeezing his hand gently “now go take care of your sister” her eyes darted to the upper pod to her right where Octavia lay watching them intently. “see you in ten years snow white” Bellamy whispered kissing her again. “Until then my prince” she smiled at him. 

Bellamy tucked her hand into the pod, then stood to his feet. He silently pressed a small button, smiling at her until the pod closed and frosted over. He laid a hand on the pod, silently watching her sleep for a few minutes before turning to his sister. “you really love her, huh?” she looked to Echo and back to Bellamy. “yeah, I do” he smiled, casting a glance at her frosted pod. “it didn’t happen overnight” he returned his gaze to his sister. “I didn’t speak to her for three years on the ring” he declared “but there wasn’t much to do and not a lot of places to hide” he shrugged. “so, you started talking to her?” Octavia raised her eyebrows at him. “Well, Monty and Harper spent a lot of time growing the algae farm” he chuckled “and when they weren’t doing that, they…” he trailed off. 

“what about Raven?” she shook her head, not needing him to fill in the details “you couldn’t hook up with her?” she snorted. Bellamy grinned “that would have been like hooking up with my sister” he arched his eyebrows at her “besides, she and Emori were pretty much attached at the hip” he shrugged. “and Murphy?” she asked. “he didn’t really play nice with anyone” Bellamy grinned “he does not do good with down time.” Octavia looked at him “So, it was down to just you and the spy, huh?” she sighed. “it was hard for her” he looked at his sister “she was lonely, and didn’t have anyone else” he explained. “and you were sad, and lonely, so the two of you hooked up” Octavia finished not needing to know the details. “At first, yeah” he admitted “but she changed and I changed” he shrugged “and before we knew it…” he trailed off. 

Octavia pursed her lips “At least she taught you to fight” she sighed. “something you would never have known that had you not thrown me into the pit” he spat out angrily, before closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. “the bunker wasn’t as boring as space” she spoke softly, “the things we had to do to survive changed all of us” she turned her head to meet his gaze “for what it’s worth, I’m sorry. I love you, big brother, I promise to make it up to you.” 

He grunted in response “you’re my sister, a part of me will always love you” he sighed. “but part of you still wishes I was dead” she sighed unhappily, her eyes downcast staring into her pod. “yeah” he acknowledged softly “part of me does” he spoke so softly she could barely hear him. “I guess you have a right to feel that way” she sighed. “I won’t always feel that way” he brushed her hair out of her face “ten years is a long time” he smiled at her softly. “trust me, I know” he declared, casting his gaze to where Clarke was tucking Madi into her pod. “go, talk to her” her eyes followed the direction of his “I’ll see you in ten years” she smiled at him, tucking her arms against her side. Bellamy pushed the button on the screen, watching as the pod slid into the bay and began frosting over. 

Bellamy stood for a moment tracing the name on Octavia’s pod “I love you O” he spoke quietly, touching the glass-encased tomb. He looked across the aisle where Clarke stood somberly touching the frosted glass case that now entombed her daughter, a single tear sliding down her cheek. “she’ll be the same bossy teenager when you wake her up” he came to stand beside her. Clarke snorted “she was so easy to raise when she was little and still listened to me” she sighed. “Now you know how your mom feels” he laughed softly. Clarke shook her head “I was a terrible daughter” she sighed “remind me to apologize to my mom when we wake up.” 

He wrapped an arm around her shoulders, hugging her softly, “I’m sorry I put the flame in your daughter” he looked at her. “I’m sorry I left you to die in the pits” she returned. “you were doing what you thought you needed to” he shrugged “even if it was way more mama bear than Abby ever was.” She turned her head toward him “she’s my baby” Clarke sighed, lovingly touching the glass casket. Bellamy nodded, looking back at Octavia’s pod “believe me, I understand” he sighed. She turned to him “are we okay?” she asked. He nodded “yeah, a wise woman reminded me that I needed to forgive you” he smiled down at Madi’s face. 

“Your turn” he placed the stool in front of her holding out his hand. Clarke climbed up into the pod, situating herself so that her arms were tucked in. “Everyday, for six years?” he asked when she turned to look at him. “I’m going to kill that kid” she grunted. He laughed softly “I bet your mom..” he was interrupted when Clarke glared at him “don’t finish that sentence” she growled. He chuckled “answer the question.” She nodded “I missed you” she sighed “you were my best friend.” He touched her cheek with his hand “I missed you, too” he admitted “the difference is I thought you were dead.” She shook her head “nope, alive, barely at times, but alive” she declared “and really lonely, at least until I found madi” she grinned. 

“What was she like?” he asked “she was a little devil at first” Clarke snorted “lead me right into a bear trap, then came into the church and stole my things.” Bellamy grinned “that’s a story I need to hear” he laughed softly. “She’d love to tell you” Clarke rolled her eyes, before directing her gaze at the pod below. “I love that kid” she sighed. “I can see why” Bellamy agreed. “Bell” she whispered his name so softly that he almost missed it “maybe we should not do this” she looked into her pod. Bellamy read the fear in her eyes. “hey” he touched her cheek with the back of his hand “we’ll be okay” he assured her “we can handle anything as long as we’re...” She reached for his hand “together” they said in unison. “Okay, sleeping beauty” he grinned at her, laying her arm back down “it’s time for bed.” She nodded, holding his gaze with hers.  
Clarke’s pod closed with a soft hiss, “okay Romeo, your turn” Raven appeared in front of him. He smirked, allowing her to lead him to his own pod. He looked at Echo’s pod, then Clarke’s “they’ll be okay” she assured him “and when they wake up, it’s going to be fun watching you choose one of them” she grinned. “Brat” he swatted her arm. She laughed, pointing to the pod “time for bed prince charming” she grinned at him. He climbed up into his pod “speaking of prince charming” he looked around “where’s yours?” Raven nodded in the direction of a closed pod “what no last-minute canoodling?” he grinned. “Oh, there was canoodling” she responded, turning a faint shade of pink “you just didn’t notice because you were tucking your princesses into bed.” 

He rolled his eyes “they’re not my princesses” he scoffed. “they are so your princesses” Harper walked up to them “and it’s going to be fun seeing how that plays out.” Bellamy groaned “and on that note” he shook his head. “sleep tight” Raven kissed his cheek “don’t let the bedbugs bite.” Bellamy laughed softly at her rhyme “see you in ten years” he smiled at them. Raven pushed the button that closed Bellamy’s pod. “Okay, get in” Harper motioned toward an empty pod. Raven lowered herself into the pod “I’m going to miss you guys” she smiled softly. “the next time we see each other it will be as if no time has passed at all” Raven reassured her. “yeah, it will” Harper agreed. There was something about the tone of her voice and the look in her eyes that didn’t sit right with Raven. She didn’t get a chance to say anything since Harper pushed the button that closed her pod without another word.


	2. Harper and Monty's story

Harper stared longingly at the row of pods that contained her friends, her family really, as they had spent more time together both on the ground and in space than anyone else. Monty walked up to her “there’s still more pods” he consoled “we could still go to sleep and be with them.” She laid her head on his shoulders “if we do that, who makes sure the earth comes back” whispered. “nobody” Monty shrugged “but we’ll deal with that when the time comes.” She shook her head “no, I like our plan” she sighed “I’m just going to miss them, and we never really got to have a real conversation with Clarke.” Monty nodded in agreement “it would have been nice to talk about what happened in the six years we were gone” he hugged her “but we can still do that in ten years, for them it will be like waking up tomorrow.” Harper sighed “I guess you’re right, I just hate lying to them.” Monty pulled her close to him “me too, but this way we can make sure they have a future” he reassured her, rubbing circles on her lower back. “bright side” he grinned wickedly at her “we have forty plus staterooms to break in.” She leaned back “I like the way you think” returned his grin “maybe we should start now.”

***one year later***

The camera pans onto Monty, who has aged only slightly, hey guys he grins at the computer I hope you are enjoying your sleep. As you can see, Harper and I did not go into cryo. He shrugs slightly We decided that we wanted to be together, and not in cryo mode. Besides, somebody had to ensure the algae farm grows and monitor the earth. It’s quiet, too quiet somedays, but Harper and I finding things to do. Harper appears in the frame, half-dressed, clearly unaware the he is filming. Monty she shrieks you didn’t tell me you were filming, before running out of the frame. There’s not a lot to do in space he smirks. Well, I’m going to sign off. Sleep tight guys, we’ll see you in nine years.

***Two years later***

Monty and Harper appear in the lens of the camera, both have aged slightly and their hair has grown out, but the biggest change is the very round belly Harper is sporting, and her glowing complexion. Surprise! Harper smiles at the camera. Harper has been eating a little too much algae Monty quips. We picked out a name today Harper speaks into the camera his name will be Jordan. 

***a few months later**

a grinning Monty appears in the camera, holding a diaper clad, crying baby. Meet Jordan Jasper Green he gushed. we’re all doing good he assured them that’s all for now he pulled the baby back into his arms soothing the crying infant. 

 

***ten years later***

hey guys Monty looks into the camera. His hair is graying and stringy, clearly in need of a haircut. I should be waking you up now. It’s been nearly ten years since you went so sleep he sighed the earth still hasn’t come back. I told Harper it would take more time, but I’m not sure that it ever will. I’m working on an alternative solution for you guys. A smile forms on his lips On the other hand, Jordan is a great kid.. I can’t wait for you to see him. 

***Twenty years later***

Monty and Harper appear on the screen, time and age has affected them. Their hair is greying and thinning. Both of them look sad we put JJ into cryo today. The earth is not coming back Monty sighed we asked for this life, but he didn’t. I’m still working on a solution he ran a hand through his thinning hair I’ll get one soon, I promise. We miss you guys his voice held a tone of sadness. He reached to turn off the video, but Harper reached out to stop him. Wait, she looks into the camera sadly take care of our boy she pleads, a single tear rolling down her cheek. 

***Thirty years later***

A ragged looking Monty, slowly settles into the chair facing the camera Jordan, your mother died today sadness oozed from his voice she’s been really sick the last few years he sighed. Clarke, you were right, her dad’s genetic condition finally got her. She missed you guys he lamented I miss you guys. You’ve been asleep for 28 years. I finally cracked the Eligius III code he declared turns out they weren’t on a mining mission at all. After they tapped the earth of all the oil, they found another planet to go after. I’ve been working on a solution for you. There’s a planet in the Goldilock’s sphere, it I’ve set the course for it. You should arrive in 75 years. I’m tempted to put myself into cryo, so I can see it, but without Harper he sighed deeply, looking down. I’ve instructed Jordan to wake you first Clarke and Bellamy, so you know what is going on and can tell everybody else. 

***125 years later***

A quiet hiss sounds as a lone pod lights up and begins to slide open. For a moment Clarke just lays there, looking up at the ceiling. Her short, blonde hair is kinked. She sits up for a moment, then steps down to the floor below, taking a moment to stare lovingly at the still frosted pod entombing Madi. Another hiss causes her to turn in the direction of another pod that lights up and slides open revealing Bellamy, whose curly mane rests against the pod. He opens his eyes, looking directly into hers. “hey” she greets him softly with a grin. “hey” he responds smiling back, sitting up. They both look around the cargo hold at the frosted pods “why is it just us?” he asks. She shrugs, unsure of that herself “that’s the way mom and dad wanted it.” They turn to see a young man, who looks remarkably like Harper and Monty. They look at each other, clearly confused. “It’s good to meet you” the boy continues “I’ve waited a long time to meet you, to meet anybody really” he confessed. 

“Who are you?” Bellamy looked at him questioningly. “oh sorry, I’ve never met anyone before. Apparently, I suck at it” he tittered “I’m Jordan, Harper and Monty’s son.” Clarke and Bellamy look at each other, clearly confused. “They didn’t go into cryo” Clarke speaks her realization. Jordan shakes his head “they instructed me to wake you two first” he declared “They left a message for you, get dressed and meet me on the bridge” he instructed. Ten minutes later, Bellamy, dressed in black jeans and a blue tee stood next to Clarke, who wore black pants and a tank top, watching as Jordan hit play on the video Monty recorded. 

They watched in silence as Monty explained that he and Harper decided to stay on the ship rather than go into cryo. They smiled when Harper revealed her baby bump and when Monty held the squirming baby in front of the camera. “Things didn’t go as planned” Jordan looked at them when Monty revealed that they had been asleep for 125 years. The exchanged surprised glances at this news.When Monty revealed that Harper had passed, tears rolled down their cheeks. “Assuming JJ followed instructions” Monty looked into the camera “I have something to show you Clarke and Bellamy, son” he instructed. 

At his words, Jordan pushed a button, revealing an approaching planet with what appeared to be lush clouds. They watched in wonder as Monty explained what he had found and how he had found it. “Two suns” Clarke commented quietly as the planet orbited revealing a second sun. “I hope Jasper was right” Monty sighed deeply “and we aren’t the problem.” Clarke and Bellamy exchanged glances “be the good guys” he pleaded “I’ll see you when I see you” the screen went black. Overcome with emotion at all they’d heard, Clarke and Bellamy clung to one another. A mixture of sadness and thankfulness. They were grateful to Monty and Harper, who stayed behind to ensure their success. At the same time, they grieved the loss of their friends, wishing they had been able to say goodbye at least.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, got a little distracted with my other story

 

 

Bellamy and Clarke stood in a stunned silence for several minutes watching the planet below glow against the dark, starry sky in space. Bellamy wrapped an arm around her shoulder, pulling her closer. She laid her head on his shoulders, her warm tears soaking his shirt. “were they happy?” he looked at Jordan. Jordan nodded “they were very happy” he consoled “they missed all of you so much” his voice trailed off. After a moment, he continued “they told me about all of you” he smiled softly “said I needed to know who you were so when you all woke up, I’d be family too.” Clarke smiled at him, pulling away from Bellamy to where the boy stood. She brushed his cheeks, then held her arms out “you’re the son of two people who meant a lot to us, you would be family anyway” she soothed. To her surprise, he allowed her to hug him.

 

Bellamy patted his shoulder “I’m sorry you were alone” he sighed “and I’m sorry about your parents, but you are the son of two people I considered to be family” he grinned “so, even without your parent’s pleas, you would be considered family.” Jordan smiled gratefully at them “so, now what do we do?” he asked. Clarke sighed, dropping her arms to her side “Next, we wake the others, and tell them” her voice was quiet. “All of them?” Jordan asked looking at her. “no, just a few of us for now” Bellamy responded “only the ones closest to your parent’s, then we’ll tell the rest.” Jordan nodded and turned toward the cargo hold.

 

Clarke looked back at the planet circling below. “hey, are you okay?” Bellamy stood behind her. She nodded, but said nothing “Clarke” he called softly, turning her into his arms. Tears rolled down her cheeks “Come here” his voice was gentle as he pulled her into his arms. She wrapped her arms around him, burying her head in his neck. He felt her hot tears on his shoulder “it’s okay, let it out” he soothed. After a few minutes, her sobs subsided into shallow breaths and hiccups. “I’m sorry” she apologized a few minutes later, pulling back patting his wet shirt. Bellamy handed her a tissue, chuckling softly “I’ll wash” he teased, taking her hand in his. “I’m sorry Bellamy” she sighed softly, looking at him. “like I said, I’ll…” he was interrupted when she held her hand up “not about that” she murmured “I mean for leaving you in Polis, for not even trying to..”  He smiled at her “that’s over and done with” he reassured her “besides, it wasn’t like I didn’t do anything to deserve it” he smirked.

 

Clarke grunted “I’m a little over the top when it comes to Madi” she admitted. “just a little?” he arched his eyebrows at her. “okay, maybe more than a little” she agreed “but the two of us spent six years being alone together on the ground” she explained. “Trust me, I get it” he soothed “the same thing happened on the ring.” She sniffed, looking back at him “What was it like, on the ring?” she asked. He snorted “we don’t have near enough time to cover that right now” he grinned “but I promise we’ll sit down and talk about everything” he assured her.  “Right now, we need to wake our friends and pass on the news to them.” She nodded and allowed him to lead in the direction of the cargo hold.

 

They assembled Echo, Raven, Shaw, Murphy, Emori, Madi and Abby on the bridge to watch Monty’s videos. Echo stood with Bellamy’s arms wrapped around her waist, her head resting on his shoulder. Emori stood in the circle of Murphy’s arms, while Clarke stood between Madi and Abby, still saddened by Monty’s video. Shaw sat in one of the chairs with Raven in his lap. “Should we get Octavia, too?” Echo looked at Bellamy. “she was friends with Monty and Harper, too” she pointed out. Bellamy looked to Clarke who nodded her consent, before walking toward the cargo hold. He returned with his sister in tow then nodded at Jordan to play the video. “wow” Raven was the first to speak after it ended “I knew something was up with her” she sighed “I wish she would have said something.”

 

“So they could be talked out of it” Echo scoffed. “at least we could have said goodbye” Raven defended. “Clearly, that wasn’t their plan” Abby inserted. “So, now what?” Raven looked at the group. “Now, we explore the planet, see what’s going on down there” Bellamy declared. He turned to Abby “Do you think we need Diyaoza for this?” he asked. “It wouldn’t hurt” she responded “Marcus too.” Clarke looked at her “Can Marcus make the trip?” she asked. “maybe if I can get him out of cryo and into surgery” she answered. “I’ll need Jackson, too.” Octavia looked at them “wait, we’re not waking everybody up?” she asked. Bellamy looked at Clarke, who nodded in agreement. “for now, we only wake up those who we know are loyal to us” Bellamy responded.

 

Octavia looked as if she wanted to disagree, but said nothing. She knew by her last conversation with Bellamy that their relationship was forever changed. As much as she wished she could undo the damage she’d done in Polis and by throwing him into the pit, she knew some things could never be undone. “okay, so who are we going to wake up, then?” Raven looked at Bellamy and Clarke. As a group, the decided on who would be woken up and what they’re jobs would be, as well as who would wake them. Everyone except for Bellamy, Clarke, Raven, Shaw and Jordan left he bridge. “Jordan, can you help Raven and Shaw get us to the new planet?” Bellamy asked. At his nod, Bellamy took Clarke’s arm and they talked for a few minutes before he walked out of the bridge.

 

“Can I talk to you?” Clarke came over to Raven. Shaw looked nervously between them. “It’s okay” she patted his arm “she’s had 125 years to sleep off her crazy” she smirked. “If you’re sure” he eyed Clarke, suspiciously. Eventually, Shaw allowed himself to be led away by Jordan. There was a brief moment of silence between them before Clarke finally spoke. “I’m sorry, I was a little too overprotective” she smiled weakly. “you don’t say” Raven snorted “She’s a great kid, though” she laughed softly. “I can see why she might inspire that kind of behavior.” Clarke chuckled “she saved my life” Clarke murmured softly “she was kind of a handful though” she smirked. “feel a little sympathy for Abby, do you?” Raven grinned. “Just a little bit” Clarke smiled “please tell me I wasn’t as bossy as Madi?” she sighed. Raven snorted “I can lie to you” she grinned.

 

“What was it like?” Raven asked. “it was lonely for a while” she admitted “there was only death and destruction” Clarke closed her eyes as the memories of her first days alone came flooding back. “I almost killed myself” she admitted “I couldn’t get into Polis, Arkadia was gone, I had no hope, nobody around” she sighed. “Then I found the valley and Madi” Clarke snorted “the little shit led me into a bear trap. Man, she was little brat” Clarke laughed. “Well, apparently the two of you got over that” Raven chortled. “Yeah, it was a process, but then it was just us, in the valley for six years” Clarke smiled at the memory. “It was nice, no war, no enemies, we had food, plants, homes” she trailed off “and now it’s all gone.” Raven hugged her friend “I’m sorry, that must be hard. Clarke nodded “it is, but I still have Madi, and you guys are back, most of you” she corrected, thinking of Harper and Monty. “How was it for you?” she looked at Raven.

 

“Well, considering, we thought you were dead, and we were living on algae cooked twenty ways” she shuddered “it was bleak” she admitted. “But things got better. We were bored as hell, but we were alive” she sighed. She looked at Clarke, wondering when or if she would ever deal with her feelings for Bellamy. “I missed you Rae” she sighed. Raven reached out and hugged her “I missed you, too” she sighed. “Just one question?” Clarke looked at her “how the hell did you let Bellamy and Echo happen?” Clarke sighed. “It was pretty damn boring in space, and I was not going to be another notch in his belt” she grinned “someone had to make the sacrifice” she smirked. “Besides, she’s good for him and he’s good for her.” Clarke nodded “I can see that” she murmured.

 

 “If it helps, it took Bellamy three years to forgive Echo before he got with her” she shrugged.  Clarke scoffed “it helps a little I guess. I mean it’s not like either of us ever staked a claim” she murmured. “or ever will” Raven snorted “but hey maybe you’ll meet a hot guy on the new planet” she laughed. “maybe” Clarke agreed “but at the moment, I need to figure out how to raise my crazy, teenaged daughter” she rolled her eyes. “that will be fun to watch” Raven laughed. “shut up” Clarke swatted at her.

 

“Speaking of hot new guy” Clarke glanced at Shaw. Raven blushed “he’s okay” she smiled, licking her lower lip. Clarke laughed at her “it’s about time you got some action” she grinned. “actually, we haven’t” Raven blushed even more “he’s a great kisser though” she admitted, looking over at him. Clarke shook her head “you really like this one” she exclaimed. “He’s a good guy” Raven shrugged. “and easy on the eyes” Clarke added, grinning. “that too” Raven agreed looking over at Shaw. He was watching her back. “that is intense” Clarke laughed.

 

Raven rolled her eyes “please, you and Bell have been looking at each other like that for years” she scoffed. “Were just friends” Clarke sighed “sometimes” she added, remembering their recent problems. “What happened with you and Bellamy?” she asked. Clarke grunted “I might have over-reacted to the fact that he put the flame in Madi” she winced. “May have?” Raven arched her brow?” Clarke shrugged “he messed with my little girl.”

 

Bellamy walked up to them “your mom’s looking for you” he looked at Clarke. She nodded “thanks, I’ll go see what she needs” she turned and walked out. Bellamy watched her leave, then turned to Raven. She shook her head at him grinning. “What?” he asked impatiently. “nothing” she shrugged. “Raven” he growled. “you have a problem” she pointed out. He grunted “I’m with Echo, Raven” he reminded her “I love her.” Raven nodded “but you also love Clarke, or at least you did once” she pointed out. ”we were never like that” Bellamy pointed out. “Only because the two of you never really got around to labeling or talking about it” she pointed out. “You know since you got with lover boy over there you have been trying to push your happiness on everybody” he pointed out.  “I’m happy” he looked at her “with Echo” he declared. “okay, I’ll shut up” Raven held her hands up. “Thank you” he rolled his eyes “now can we discuss what is important?” he asked.


	4. Chapter 4

“Hey mom” Clarke walked into the medbay “how’s Marcus?” she asked. “still unconscious” she sighed, walking over to his bed and stroking his hair. “What happened?” Clarke walked over to them. “Vinson happened” Abby murmured “I should have taken him out sooner, but he was…” she trailed off. “your supplier?” Clarke asked, looking at her mom. Abby turned to look at her “Clarke, I know you’re probably wondering why I started…” Clarke held her hand up “I was there mom” she shook her head “in Polis, Octavia was out of control.” Abby snorted “and you missed the really bad years” she grunted.

 

“I may have missed your bad years” she admitted, “but I had a few of my own” she declared. Abby smiled sadly at her “I wish I could’ve been there with you” she reached out to stroke Clarke’s cheek. “you would have died, and I would have had to watch you” Clarke responded. “Tell me about it” Abby sank into the chair behind her. “There are so many more important things to talk about” Clarke sighed. Abby reached out and took her hand, “to you maybe, but you lived a whole life without me, honey. You became a mom” she implored her daughter.

 

Clarke sighed and pulled up a chair “how did you survive?” Abby asked. “Nightblood, but it didn’t kick in right away. I had scars, lots of them. It felt like I was dying, wished I was dying” she admitted. “How long were you alone?” Abby asked, tears shining in her eyes “a few months” Clarke answered “everything was dead” she went on to tell her mom about the meager rations she had and the time she almost killed herself. “Oh honey,” Abby cried openly now “I’m so sorry” she sniffled. “I came to Polis once” Clarke admitted “actually unburied the door to the bunker, but I couldn’t open it.” Abby smiled “Marcus heard you” she declared “he came to get me and I just knew it was you” she exclaimed. “You couldn’t have opened the vault anyway” Clarke told her “everyone inside would have died, including you” she pointed out.

 

“Eventually, I left” Clarke shrugged “and wandered across the desert for the longest time, then I saw the birds” she went on to explain how she followed them to Shallow Valley. “Where you met Madi?” Abby asked. Clarke nodded “God, she was something else” Clarke laughed. “She had lived on her own for several months at that point, and she was a wild child.” Clarke tried to explain to her mom what Madi looked like, but she held up her hands “I saw the pictures.” Clarke shook her head “the little heathen lead me right into a bear trap, then stole my things” she laughed. “so, I moved into the valley and waited her out.”

 

Clarke explained to Abby how the two of them eventually lived in the valley, in separate residences at first. Luckily, the residents of shallow valley had preserved food that sustained them until the berries started growing again. “eventually, Madi learned that I wasn’t a threat and she moved in with me” Clarke smiled at the memory. “we were so happy” Clarke sighed sadly “part of me wished no one ever came back.” She felt a hand on her shoulder “she doesn’t mean that” Madi sat in her lap. Clarke wrapped her arms around the girl “she missed you guys, she radioed you and Bellamy every day. When she wasn’t drawing pictures of you guys, she was telling me stories about all of you.”

 

“Except when the ship came down, it wasn’t her friends, it was Diyoza and her people” Madi continued. “and everything went downhill from there” Abby finished. Madi nodded “Clarke tried really hard to be peaceful, but…” Clarke shook her head “I didn’t try that hard” she admitted “I fired the first shot.” Madi shook her head “I was trying to cover for you” she scowled. Clarke laughed “I’m sorry honey” she hugged Madi, then looked at her mom “I just wanted to protect her. I always will.” Madi rolled her eyes “I’m not a baby anymore Clarke” she sighed. “yeah mom, she’s not a baby anymore” Abby chided, grinning at her daughter. “I was never that bad” Clarke denied. Abby snorted “oh no, you were at least as bad” she disagreed “I seem to recall a time when you declared that you were in charge, even though I was the chancellor” she cocked her head at Clarke. Madi looked up at Clarke “so, you were like me once?” she asked. Clarke sighed “I may have been like you” she admitted. “She may have been a little more bold and mouthier than you” Abby chuckled “I bet she didn’t tell you that.” Madi shook her head, grinning at Abby.

 

“She was” Bellamy spoke from the doorway, causing them all to turn to look at him. Clarke groan and dropped her chin to her chest. He laughed softly walking toward them “Clarke isn’t the only one with stories” he tossed Madi’s hair. “Clarke scowled at him “don’t you dare tell her anything” she demanded. He laughed “I want today, we have better things to do” he looked at Clarke “if you want to, I mean.” Clarke nodded “of course, I want to” she agreed, tapping Madi, who stood up. “Well, I for one have to stay here and keep an eye on Marcus, and I have way more stories that any of them” Abby grinned at Madi. Madi  grinned at Clarke mischievously “I want to hear stories” she declared. “Traitor” Clarke kissed the top of her head “don’t believe anything she says, they’re all lies” she snorted. “you wish” Abby retorted, making Madi laugh.

 

Clarke walked with Bellamy to the door, then turned to watch her mom and her daughter for a minute. She smiled at them, the turned to Bellamy “how much did you hear?” she asked. “enough” he looked at her “I’m sorry Clarke” he sighed “I had no idea things were that bad for you.” He pulled her to a seat and sat down patting the seat next to him. She shrugged “I survived.” He shook his head “Clarke, I heard you talking to your mom” he turned to look at her. “and?” she shrugged again.

 

“I heard you tell her you wish none of us had ever came back, is that true?” he asked. “not really, I guess” she murmured “you guess?” he cocked his head. “Madi and I were happy” she spoke softly. “Yeah, I missed you guys. Even though it was just Madi and I, we were happy, you know, nobody was in danger, no one to fight” she smiled slightly. “I taught her to fight, to drive the rover, how to color her hair with the berries, then everyone came back and all that went away.” Bellamy bit his lower lip, he knew that feeling. He’d felt it on the ring. “I understand why you would feel that way” he sighed “It was that way on the ring, except for Murphy being, well Murphy” he laughed.

 

He watched as she twisted her hands together “Clarke” he spoke softly, wrapping his hands around hers “I’m sorry we left you” he sighed “I’m sorry we took so long to come back” he scoffed “if it helps any, we wanted to come back sooner.” She shrugged “it wouldn’t have mattered anyway” she murmured “everywhere we go, all we do is destroy things and somehow you and I end up on the opposite side of things.” He cocked his head, that was an argument he couldn’t fight, especially not after what happened in Polis. “we won’t do that with this new place” he swore. She laughed harshly “you can’t make that promise” she looked at him “we have no idea what we’re going to find.” He sighed “you’re right, I can’t promise that” he agreed “but I can promise whatever happens, you and I won’t be on different sides of things.” She laughed “you also can’t promise that” she cocked her head at him. “I can promise that” he disagreed. “no matter what we find, I will always be on your side” he swore. She arched her eyebrows “even if Echo is on the other side?” she asked.

 

Bellamy closed his eyes “Clarke, Echo and I just sort of…happened” he sighed. Clarke looked at him “do you love her?” she asked. “yeah, I do” he admitted “I didn’t want to” he chuckled. “it took me a long time to look at her and not see every bad thing she did” he admitted. “She was so mad at me when she was in the valley with me” Clarke murmured. He laughed “she’s a little bit loyal” he laughed softly. “Yeah” Clarke shook her head “just a little.”

 

He glanced at her “It’s not like I didn’t deserve it a little bit” he admitted “I did force the chip on Madi.” Clarke arched her eyebrows “yeah thanks for that” Clarke growled “she’s turned into a full-blown teenager now.” Bellamy laughed “I bet your mother is loving this” he smirked. “She is” Clarke laughed softly. Bellamy released her hands and tipped her chin to look into her eyes “I promise whatever we find on this new planet, I will be on your side” he told her “even if you come up with a crazy plan, and I will protect Madi, too.”

 

“come one” he stood up, holding out his hands “let’s go see what bandits they’ve brought together to explore the new planet.” She took his hand “Okay” she sighed “But can we not destroy this planet? I’m tired of starting over” she shook her head. He smirked “destroying the planet is not on my list of things to do today” he grinned, looping an arm around her shoulders.

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

After waking the others up, everyone gathered in a conference room. They’d chosen to wake Diyoza, and a few people she had called “trusted warriors”, though they weren’t sure of that. They’d also woken up Gaia, Indra and Miller. Bellamy still wasn’t sure he could trust Miller, but he was a strong guy and good with a gun. After filling them in on what had occurred while they slept, they spoke to Diyoza, to get her take on the developments. Then, they prepared to disembark the ship once it landed on the planet. “We have some time” Bellamy explained “so feel free to take some time catching up and be on the cargo ship in thirty minutes” he ordered.

 

“how is Marcus?” Diyoza walked over to Clarke. “He’s still unconscious, but mom seems to think he’ll pull through” she replied. “They’re in the medical center if you want to go see them.” Diyoza nodded and started walking away “are you sure you’ll be good to go to the surface?” she glanced at her protruding stomach. Diyoza grinned “If you recall, I made it out of the battle okay” she remarked. Clarke nodded “I know you can defend yourself” she clarified “I’m just wondering what happens if you go into labor down there?” Diyoza shrugged “then I guess the baby will be born there” she drawled. Clarke looked doubtful “okay, if you’re sure” she relented. “I appreciate your concern” Diyoza smiled at her, hearing the tone of Clarke’s voice. “but I will be fine.” That said she left the room to find Abby and Marcus.

 

“are you coming with us?” Bellamy stood in front of her, Echo standing right beside him. The two women stared wordlessly at each other. Clarke shrugged “I don’t know” she admitted “I might stay here with Madi” she murmured. Bellamy sighed, trying to figure out why she was still holding him at bay. He thought they’d cleared the air, “Clarke” he spoke softly, meeting her eyes. “I have to think about it” she shrugged and turned to walk away. Bellamy made no move to stop her. He turned to Echo “somebody needs to talk to her” he ran his hands through his hair. “Don’t look at me” she grunted “the last time her and I talked” she used her hands to make air quotes “it wasn’t pretty.”

 

Murphy walked up “where’d Clarke go?” he asked. Bellamy pointed down the hall. “Is she coming with us?” he asked. Bellamy shrugged “she isn’t sure she wants to” he answered. “you should talk to her” he looked at Bellamy. Bellamy shook his head “Clarke and I haven’t really connected lately” he murmured. “want me to talk to her?” he asked. “Couldn’t hurt” Bellamy shrugged. Murphy bobbed his head in agreement and followed Clarke down the hall.

 

Bellamy leaned back against the wall, hanging his head down. Echo put her hands on his hips “are you sure the two of you cleared the air?” she asked. Bellamy pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her. “I thought we did” he shrugged “I mean, we had a good talk” he drawled. “you miss her” Echo spoke softly. Bellamy nodded “we were so close before” he sat on the bench behind him “I just don’t know what happened” he sighed. Echo smiled gently at him “time happened” she murmured “Her and Madi lived an entire lifetime, the six years they were down her alone” she pointed out. He supposed she was right, and knowing Clarke there were probably gaping holes in her stories, things she just didn’t tell anyone. He looked longingly down the hall, wishing he didn’t feel so damn helpless.

 

“you know if you don’t want to be found, you need to find a better hiding spot” Murphy sat down beside Clarke in her quarters. “Who says I was hiding?” she asked. “Ok, so technically, you were running away, again…” he stared at her pointedly. “so you’re here because you care or because Bellamy cares, but can’t tear himself away from Echo?” she asked bitterly. “technically, I volunteered to come talk to you” he shrugged. “Well, let me save you the effort, I don’t really feel like talking” she shot back. “Do you feel like drinking?” he produced a bottle of clear liquid and some shot glasses. She eyed the bottle warily “what’s the catch?” she asked, narrowing her eyes at him.

 

He chuckled “no catch, I just thought you might want a drink” he replied pouring some of the liquid in the shot glasses, holding one out for her. Still suspicious, she kept his gaze, but took the offered glass and quickly downed it, then held the glass to him for a refill. “sorry, princess” he shook his head “the next ones gonna cost you” he shrugged. “Cost me what?” she asked. He grinned “how about a friendly game of never have I ever?” he asked. “fine, but I go first” she agreed. Murphy laughed “whatever you say princess” he shrugged, filling her shot glass again.

 

“Never, have I ever threatened to kill a twelve-year-old girl” she arched her eyebrows at him. “you dug deep for that one” Murphy laughed softly, downing his drink, then refilling the cup again. “never have I ever pulled a lever” he grinned at his own rhyme. Clarke snorted “terrible” she shook her head, then quickly sent the fiery liquid down her throat. “Thank you” he grinned, impressed with his own wit. “never have I ever held a friend hostage and shot them” she pulled from the recesses of her mind. “low-blow Clarke” Murphy rolled his eyes, taking a drink. He glanced at her glass, then at her “what?” she asked. “I seem to recall you chaining Bellamy to a pipe” he tapped is foot. “I didn’t shoot him” she pointed out. “semantics” he shrugged. She sighed and took a shot.

 

“never have I ever quit trying just because it was the easy thing to do” he leveled his gaze at her, then took a shot. “it’s not easy”      she mumbled, taking a shot. “then why” he asked. “Bellamy and Echo can handle this, they don’t need me” she shrugged. “so, is this a ‘they’re a coupled thing and I don’t like it’ or something else?” he asked. “it has nothing to do with them being together” she replied “I mean clearly, they’re happy, and the two of them are much better leaders than me, so let them go and I can help mom with Kane and take care of Madi.”

She took a shot and held out her glass. He refilled it, their game forgotten. “you do realize that Monty and Harper handpicked you and Bellamy to lead us, right?” he asked. “and I have done such a good job of that lately” she snorted. “just ask Bellamy what it was like in the pit?” she stared at him pointedly “or ask yourself if I hadn’t fired the first shot, would we even be here?”

She took another shot.

 

Murphy refilled her shot glass “what the hell are you talking about?” he asked. “When Diyoza and her crew came down, they came after Madi and I, one of them begged for his life and I shot him anyway” she explained. “so, you think you’re the only one who makes dumb decisions based on your desperate need to protect someone you love?” he crossed his arms over his chest. “and not to be that guy, but putting the flame in Madi’s head did end Octavia’s reign of terror” he pointed out. “She’s twelve-years-old” Clarke took another shot and held out her glass again. “you’ve seen what happens to the commanders, I can’t let that happen to Madi” she murmured. He smirked “from what I’ve seen, Madi does a pretty good job of protecting herself” he noted “you trained her well.” Clarke shrugged “There wasn’t much to do the six years we were alone” she responded. “and I was hoping she would never need to use that training” she sighed. “So now, you’re going to what? Hide out here and let everyone else do the hard work? Trust me that won’t work out well for you” he grunted “at least it didn’t for me.”

 

She looked at him for an explanation. He smirked “I wasn’t exactly what you would call a model citizen on the ring” he shrugged. “Surprise, surprise” she rolled her eyes. He grinned “seriously, we counted the years, like you counted the days. Eventually, there were consequences for that.”  He told her how they called that a ‘time violation’ and thanks to his erratic behavior, he became a choice of punishment for said ‘time violations’.  “you couldn’t have been that bad” she laughed. Ever since they landed on the earth seven years ago, John Murphy had been somehow involved in anything troublesome, at least until he found love.

 

He chortled, handing her the bottle “let me tell you a tale of a pig-headed person who doesn’t handle things well, when there’s not a common enemy to fight” he stared at her pointedly. “What happened on the ring?” she asked. “it was so god awful boring” he shook his head “and all we had to eat or drink was algae” he shuddered. “if I ever see that crap again it will be too soon” he declared. “There’s only so much you can do when you’re in a tin can with very little food and water. Plus, there wasn’t a lot of room.”

 

“We thought you were dead Clarke” he looked at her “it took Bellamy and Raven a long time to stop thinking about that” he told her. “And being from the ground, Echo and Emori were just trying to get used to life in space, which was interesting” he smirked. He told her how Raven was singularly focused on finding out how to get us home; and how Bellamy was so consumed by grief that he barely left the bridge where he watched the earth below burn. “So, if it was that boring how did you and Emori fall apart?” she asked.

 

He pulled back “how did you know?” he asked. She laughed “I have eyes” she replied. “She didn’t do well with having nothing to do, started spending a lot of time with Raven, learning things and I didn’t like it” he admitted. “let me guess, you issued her an ultimatum and she chose Raven over you” Clarke chuckled. “Basically,” he agreed “She moved in with Raven and I moved to the other side of the ring” he told her how he refused to have anything to do with them. “I was not making good decisions” he told her “kind of like you do when you spend too much time alone” he cocked his head at her.

 

“I was alone” She leveled her gaze at him “I didn’t have six other people to keep me company” she blinked back tears “I only had Madi and she needed me to be strong, so…” she trailed off. “So, you refused to feel anything, buried your emotions, made Madi your whole reason for existing” he looked at her “protecting her at all costs, even from those who you know will protect and love her like you do.” She scoffed “yeah, and putting the flame in her and sending her to fight was a really great way to protect her” she said bitterly, ignoring her shot glass and drank directly from the bottle.

“So, you haven’t forgiven Bellamy for doing that?” he looked at her. “I forgave him, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to forget it” she replied. “so, while everyone explores the new planet, you’re going to do what comes naturally, and protect your little girl” Murphy was beginning to understand. “you know the first time we met Madi, she took out four grown men in seconds” he looked at her. “and now she has an army behind her” he pointed out. “Clarke, he took her hands in his “the two of you are not alone anymore” he assured her “I don’t know what it was like for you two, but it clearly changed you” he looked into her eyes. “you two became a family, just like we did on the ring, and like the others in the bunker” he pointed out. She snorted “they may have a been a seriously dysfunctional in the bunker, but you have to admit they were united” he responded. “But now we’re all back together, and somehow, we have figure out how to be one, big, happy family again” he told her. She snorted “lucky for you, there’s no more flame for Bellamy to put in someone else” she declared bitterly “at least your family will be safe and live to be old and annoying.”

 

Bellamy, who had followed them, stood outside her door listened to them talking. It made his heart hurt to think that Clarke felt that way about him. Madi rushed up beside him “what’s wrong with Clarke?” she asked. “I wish I knew” he admitted “she’s in there with Murphy.” Madi brushed past him “maybe you should wait until she’s not so…out of sorts” he grabbed her arm to stop her. She flared back, freeing her arm “where was your concern about my safety when you basically told me I had to take the flame or Clarke would die?” she asked. Bellamy winced at her tone. “I’m sorry Madi” he apologized “I didn’t know what else to do” he admitted “if I had to do it all over again…” he trailed off. “We can’t go back and redo it” she looked up at him “and even if we could, it was probably your best option at the time” she admitted. “but you had to know when you did it, what that would do to your relationship with Clarke” she declared. He didn’t think she would be happy about it, but he also didn’t think the effects of his actions would be this far reaching either.

 

“That Clarke, the one in there” Madi continued “is not the same person you guys left six years ago” she told him. “Just because we didn’t have any enemies to fight or competition for our home, doesn’t mean she didn’t go through a lot “Madi pointed out. “I know you care about her, all of you” she looked at Raven and Abby, who had heard what was going on and joined Bellamy in the search for Clarke, “but you weren’t there, you don’t know what it was like for her, and she’ll probably never tell any of you that” she admitted. “I was, I know what she needs, and I need you to understand that” she implored the three of them. “I need you to let me take care of Clarke right now.”  Bellamy stepped back nodding at her.

 

Madi ran into the room “it’s okay Clarke, I’m here” she declared “taking the seat next to her that Murphy had abandoned. “Clarke pulled the little girl into her arms, tears running down her cheeks “I’m sorry Madi, I should’ve fought harder to protect you” she declared, reaching for the bottle. Madi deftly removed the bottle from Clarke’s hand, giving it to Murphy. He took the bottle and crossed the room, where he waited with the others at the door. “I’m okay Clarke” Madi assured her “you trained me well” she told her. “I can defend myself, you made sure of that, besides I have an army now, remember?” she grinned “like I always wanted.”

 

Clarke laughed softly “and what do I have?” she asked sadly. Madi grinned “my army is your army too” she responded “and you have your friends and your mom back” she pointed out. Clarke scoffed “they have their own families and don’t really care about you or me” she disagreed. “They put the flame in you” Clarke continued “used you to end a war.” Madi shook her head in disagreement “I took the flame willingly Clarke, to save you, like you saved me” she countered. “They love you Clarke” Madi assured her “there was no time to dwell on that because of Diyoza’s war, but give them time, everything will be like it was before.”  Clarke snorted “nothing will ever be the same” she disagreed. “I’m tired Madi” she declared “I just want..” she trailed off.

 

“I know” Madi spoke softly “just get some sleep, everything will be better tomorrow” she stood up and stepped out of Clarke’s arms. “Stay with me” Clarke pleaded. “I’m not going anywhere” Madi Promised “you and me will always have each other” she assured her “just like in the valley.”  Clarke laid her head down on the pillow and was out. Madi walked to the door where the others stood “you guys should go” she told them “I’ll stay here with Clarke.”

 

One-by-one, they reluctantly moved away from the doorway, except for Bellamy, who watched Clarke sleep. “I really am sorry Madi” he told her “I didn’t mean to cause either of you any harm. “I know that” Madi assured him “and so does Clarke” she assured him. “she just needs time to adjust, so go find us a new home, a place to rebuild, and not destroy” she suggested “then you and Clarke can figure out what the new normal is.” Bellamy looked at Madi, unsure if this was twelve-year-old Madi, who was wise beyond her years talking or the voices of the commanders, either way, she was right. He nodded “okay, but you’ll tell her I didn’t mean to…” he looked at Clarke. Madi nodded “I will” she agreed, closing the door and returning to Clarke’s side.


	6. Chapter 6

Clarke woke up a few hours later with a massive headache. She groaned when she opened her eyes and the light shone into them. “I’m going to kill Murphy” she declared after a few moments. Madi laughed softly “lucky for him, he’s already gone to the new planet” she drawled. Clarke sighed “I should have just gone” she shook her head. “there’ll be a next time” Madi shrugged. Clarke pulled herself to a sitting position “I’m sorry Madi” she murmured “you shouldn’t have to take care of me.” Madi sat next to her “it’s okay Clarke” she hugged her “you’ve have a hard time these last few weeks” she acknowledged. Nothing had gone the way the two of them had planned.

 

They’d planned for Madi to get to know Clarke’s friends when they returned from space and the bunker in the valley. Unfortunately, Diyoza and company came instead and messed up their plans. “Maybe, but I’m supposed to be the adult” Clarke sighed “not you.” Madi shrugged “It’s okay Clarke” Madi repeated “We help each other when we need, we always have.”  Clarke smiled at her daughter “that’s true” she agreed “but I didn’t want you to have to grow up as fast as you had to” she sighed “and I really wanted you to meet my friends the way they were.” Madi shrugged “I’m not a kid anymore Clarke” she shrugged “even when I was a kid, I learned that sometimes bad things happened and we either had to change with them or give up.”

 

Clarke pulled Madi into her arms “I need to be wise like you” she sighed, resting her chin on Madi’s head “and you need to be a kid, but not a know-it-all teenager” Clarke grinned. Madi chortled “according to grandma, I’m more like you than I should be.” Clarke laughed “grandma, huh?” she looked at Madi “did you and Abby have a good chat?” Madi nodded “she said I should give you hell, so that you know what it’s like to have a smart-mouthed teenager around.” Clarke laughed “I wouldn’t advise that” she grunted “I’m still the boss, even if you have to voices of thirteen commanders in your head” Clarke drawled. Madi grinned at her “I’ll think about it” she retorted. “Brat” Clarke tossed her hair. “what do you say we go see how Marcus is doing?” she asked. Madi nodded “yeah, I can hear more stories about you” she laughed. Clarke rolled her eyes “my mom is enjoying this far too much” she sighed, standing up and walking with Madi to the door.

 

“Hello _grandma”_ Clarke and Madi walked into the medical center.  Abby grinned “That is so much more fun than being a mom” she laughed. “Do you feel better?” she looked at Clarke. “I’m going to kill Murphy” Clarke chuckled. “how’s Marcus?” Clarke asked walking over to his bed. “he’s doing okay” Abby sighed “I just wish he’d wake up.” Clarke reached out and touched his hand “he will” she assured her mom “he just has to heal.” Abby looked at Clarke “and what about you?” she asked “have you healed?” Clarke sighed “just when I think that I have, something else comes to the surface and I wonder if I really have” she admitted. “Six years alone is a long time” Abby touched her softly “and then you got thrown into a war.” She pointed out. “some would say I started a war” Clarke countered “I did fire the first shot.”

 

Madi shot Clarke a look, but said nothing. “Clarke” Abby walked over to her daughter and wrapped her arms around her “There isn’t a person on this ship that hasn’t done something to harm or bring death to somebody else” she spoked softly. “Sometimes, when we do things, either directly or indirectly” she glanced down at Marcus, who was fighting for his life because of her inability to get hers together; “that are questionable and have deathly consequences, it doesn’t make you a monster.” Clarke shrugged “it doesn’t make you a good guy, either?” Clarke pointed out. Abby scoffed “if I’ve learned anything, from you, from Marcus, even from Octavia” she sighed “it’s that nobody is inherently bad or good. We make the best decisions we can, based on the information we have access to.”  She looked down at Clarke “I love you Clarke, bad decisions and all, and your friends love you” she tipped her head to look into her eyes. “But they don’t know what you went through, and you won’t tell them, so where do you go from here?” she asked. Clarke shrugged “It was so much simpler when it was just Madi and I” she sighed.

 

“You should listen to your mother” Marcus spoke quietly “she occasionally knows things.” Abby spun around “Marcus” she smiled broadly, spinning around and kissing him. “where are we?” he looked around. “you’re on the Eligius ship” Abby answered, telling him about the surgery “and it’s technically 125 years later” Clarke added. Marcus looked at her “I think the two of you, three” he corrected, spotting Madi, “should to start at the beginning and tell me everything” he declared.

 

The transporter ship had been launched and was spiraling toward the new planet Harper and Monty had discovered. On it was Murphy, Emori, Echo, Diyoza, Octavia, Raven, Shaw, Miller, Jackson and a few people handpicked by Diyoza. “I thought Clarke was coming” Echo murmured, looking around. She’s noticed that Bellamy was quiet, but she didn’t know what was going on. “She was” Bellamy scowled at Murphy “but instead of talking to her, Murphy got her so drunk she passed out” he drawled. “And then Madi came running down the hall, informed all of us that we didn’t really know the person Clarke had become and we all needed to leave” Raven added.

 

“you don’t” Murphy pointed out, a little more than drinking has occurred. He talked to Clarke, got her to open up to him. Two cockroaches would eventually do that, plus he’d talked to Madi a little bit. “When did you suddenly become so knowledgeable about Clarke?” Bellamy glowered at him. “When did you suddenly stop knowing her?” he retorted “maybe in the six years the two of you were apart?” he asked. “Then there’s the two of you” he looked at Octavia and Diyoza “you waged a war over the last livable place on earth, thinking you had the right to own it” he spat out. “But it wasn’t either of yours to lay claim to” he pointed out. “Whose side are you on Murphy?” Octavia responded hotly. “Not yours Bloodreigna” he retorted. “watch it Murphy” Bellamy growled. “Oh don’t give me that crap” he exploded “I may not have been there for everything, but I heard how she became a bloodthirsty tyrant” he responded. “Everyone wants to condemn Clarke for leaving you to fight in the pit, but nobody wants to hold her” he looked at Octavia “responsible for putting you there in the first place.” Octavia bit her lip, she really had nothing to counter that.

 

“And let’s be honest here, you weren’t without fault” he looked at Bellamy. “What did you think was going to happen when you were willing to sacrifice Clarkes’s child to stop your delusional sister?” he spat out. “You weren’t willing to let anyone take out the child you loved, or the family you created on the ring, but you were willing to risk the child Clarke loved? The family she’d created?” Bellamy winced, when he put it like that, he supposed he could understand, and it wasn’t like Madi hadn’t warned him that Clarke would never forgive him.  She may have said the words, but that didn’t mean she would ever trust him again. “It’s one thing for the two of you to fight, to chain each other up, to aim weapons at each other” Murphy went on. He also knew Clarke wasn’t innocent “but you went after her child.. _A child”_  he reminded Bellamy harshly.

 

“So, lets recap” Murphy grunted, looking at Octavia and Diyoza “the two of you, claimed Clarke and Madi’s home, when neither of you had the right, eventually destroying it forever” he added.  The he turned his gaze to Bellamy “and you took advantage of a twelve-year-old girl’s love for the only _family_ she had left to further your own plan, and the lot of you want to judge Clarke for her actions?” Murphy scowled.

 

As much as he wanted to say Murphy was wrong, he couldn’t. “He’s right” Bellamy sighed, knowing that while Murphy’s reader’s digest version of the chain of events left out some details, it was not wrong. He and Clarke had done terrible things to each other in the name of war and saving their people over the years, but they had never brought others into their battles. “She will forgive you” Echo reached for his hand. “yeah, I know that” he sighed “but she’s never to going to put her guard down around me again” he chewed her lower lip “hell, maybe I deserve that” he spoke quietly. “just give her time” Echo smiled softly “you know Clarke doesn’t forgive or forget anything fast. She has to think about it forever and brood over it.” He grinned, knowing she was right, it almost took an act of God for Clarke to get over something. Perhaps, that was why she and Murphy had become best friends all of a sudden. He kissed her softly “thank you” he whispered, truly grateful that she stayed with him, while he obsessed over another woman. She smiled back at him “I love you Bellamy, and I knew, know how much you care about Clarke” she reminded him.

 

“So, maybe rather than repeat the past” Shaw spoke up, breaking their moment, before she could finish her thought “we go into this new world, and rather than go in gun’s blazing, we work to coexist peacefully with whatever, whoever we find there?” he suggested. The others nodded in agreement. The cargo landed with a soft thud on the surface “because your friends sacrificed seeing this place, to make sure you did, and that should mean something, especially to all of you” he turned his gaze to the members of spacekru on the cargo ship.


	7. Chapter 7

The doors of the cargo ship opened to reveal a lush, green forest. If they hadn’t just left a ship, where they’d spent the past 125 years in cryo sleep, they would think they were back on earth. Because there were two suns, the planet was bathed in sunlight. The ground beneath their feet was green and lush in places, with dirt and rocks scattered about. It was quiet, save for the sounds of birds chirping and bees buzzing. “How the hell did they get birds and bees?” Bellamy scoffed. They disembarked the cargo ship, breaking up into two groups. Echo, Bellamy, Raven and Shaw who took a radio and headed in one direction. Diyoza, Octavia, Murphy, Emori, Jackson and Diyoza’s men headed in the other, establishing a way to contact the other side if they needed.

 

“Bellamy’ Echo’s voice broke into his thoughts. He looked around to see it was just the two of them standing in a clearance. “sorry” he murmured “maybe I should have stayed on the ship” he sighed. She wrapped her arms around him “Bellamy” she repeated his name, softer, but more firmly. He put his hands on her hips, looking her in the eyes. “She’s not going to hate you forever” Echo spoke quietly “I mean it’s Clarke, so it might not happen tomorrow, or anytime soon” she chortled “but she will forgive you.” Bellamy ran his hands up and down her arms “I’m sorry” he spoke softly “I shouldn’t be obsessing about this” he admitted.

 

“I know you love you her” she smiled at him “and that the two of you have a special connection. A blind man could see that” she chuckled. Someone who just meant the two of them would not know how close Bellamy and Clarke were judging by the way they’d acted toward each other recently; but Echo had watched the two of them protect each other and work together for years. She also knew that as much as Bellamy loved her, he also loved Clarke, in much the same way. “I’m pretty sure that Clarke doesn’t even want to see me right now” he sighed. “and honestly, I don’t know that I blame her.”

 

“Bellamy” Echo shook her head, but he interrupted her “No, Murphy’s right, I didn’t even question what putting the flame in Madi would do to her. I was so desperate to do anything to stop, to save my sister that I…” he trailed off. “I don’t know if you noticed or not, but that kid was pretty good at taking care of herself” she pointed out “and to be fair, you didn’t _make_ her do anything.” Bellamy snorted “no, I just insinuated that Clarke would die if she didn’t do it” he retorted. “maybe when we get back you need to have a chat with Clarke…a REAL chat” she reiterated “not just a _what we do to keep ourselves safe is not who we are moment.”_ Bellamy sighed “somebody should tell her that” he scoffed “because she clearly isn’t willing to confide in me like she used to.”

 

He looked at Echo, realizing how he must sound to her. “I’m sorry” he sighed “I promised noting would change when we came back, but clearly I was wrong.” She laughed softly “I knew they would change, I didn’t know that Clarke survived and they would change that drastically, but I knew they would change. “I love you” he looked at her, running his thumb over her lips. “I know” she smiled at him “I love you too” she kissed him softly. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer as he deepened the kiss.

 

They were interrupted by a low whistle that sailed through the quietness “somebody found something” Echo remarked, recognizing the signal. “We should go see what they found” he sighed reluctantly breaking away from her, “but when we get back to the ship, we need to find a place to disappear to” he kissed her again. She laughed softly “that’s a plan I can get behind” she agreed.

 

They all gathered in the open space near the cargo ship “Did you find anything?” Bellamy asked. “the planet seems deserted” Emori responded, “unless they’re living underground, no one is here.” Bellamy was unconvinced of that, there were places in the land that were too well kept for the planet to be deserted. Murphy looked up “it’s going to be dark soon, maybe we need to come back tomorrow with Indra, Clarke and other fresh eyes” he suggested. “scared Murphy?” Raven cocked her head at him. “to spend the night on an unknown planet that may or may not be inhabited by people we’ve never met?” He snorted “hell yeah.” Diyoza nodded in his direction “I’m inclined to agree with Murphy” she agreed “if the crew of Eligius III survived, we don’t know what they’re like.” Murphy shook his head, he was a little peeved that his people valued Diyoza’s opinion over his, but whatever. They returned to the cargo ship and headed back to the ship.

 

The first thing Murphy did when they reached the ship was find Clarke. He really did mean to get her to open up, not get her so drunk she passed out. She scowled when she saw him “you suck” she growled. He laughed softly “headache” he asked. “and-a-half” she replied “thanks for that.” Given her current look, he bit his lip to keep from laughing at her some more. “But you feel better, now” he pointed out “and thanks to Madi, everybody else knows they need to take the time to get to know you all over again.” She snorted “everybody?” she asked, doubting any of her friends really understood that. “I may have read them the riot act on the cargo ship” he smirked “pointed out that none of them are exactly innocent.” Clarke smiled “thank you” she kissed his cheek, John Murphy was the last person she thought would be the one to truly understand her. “We cockroaches have to stick together” he grinned. “What happened on the new planet?” she asked.

 

The next day Clarke had a steady stream of visitors, starting with Octavia. “Do you have a few minutes?” she asked quietly. She seemed so quiet, so unsure, very much like sixteen-year-old Octavia. Clarke stepped back motioning for her to enter. She shut the door and followed her into the small quarters. They sat in an uncomfortable silence for a few minutes before Octavia spoke “I owe you an apology” she said the words awkwardly, clearly not used to humbling herself. “First, for letting you take all the blame for Bellamy being in the pit, and second, for destroying your home” she sighed. Clarke studied her quietly unsure if she could believe what she was hearing.

 

When Clarke didn’t respond she spoke again “I was a little out of control” she murmured. “a little?” Clarke snorted “you were way out of control, so set on winning that you destroyed not only the bunker, but the valley, too.” Octavia sighed deeply “Living in the bunker wasn’t like you and Madi in the Valley or Bellamy and the others on the ring. Things got really bad, and then we ran out of food…” Clarke held her hand up “I know, my mom told me all about it.” She didn’t need to hear the same story twice. “I get that you had to do things to keep order” Clarke looked at her “I had to do that too, but a fighting pit? And throwing your own brother in there?” Octavia shrugged “I know I have a lot to make up for” she admitted “and Bellamy barely talks to me” the last part spoke sadly. “All I can do is tell you how sorry I am and hope someday I can make it up to you.” Clarke sighed “thank you” she spoke slowly.

 

“He misses you, you know” Octavia looked at her. “He didn’t say anything when Murphy lit into him about giving Madi the flame, but I could tell by his expression he was sad about it.” Clarke grunted “I’m not ready to talk to him right now” she admitted. “because of Echo?” Octavia asked. Clarke shook her head “They seem happy, who am I to make them feel bad about it?” she shrugged. “It’s not weird for you?” Octavia asked. “Why should it?” Clarke murmured “Bellamy and I were never like that.” Octavia snorted “but the two of you care about each other” she pointed out. “maybe, but clearly not enough to overcome his love for Echo.”

 

Octavia wasn’t so sure, but she didn’t say anything. “I can live with how you feel about me” Octavia looked at her “and if nothing changes, I will understand, but Bellamy is not doing so well” she sighed. “at least think about talking to him” she pleaded. Clarke sighed “ok, I will” she nodded “but I’m not making any promises.” Octavia nodded “Well, that’s all I wanted to say” she stood up “I hope you can forgive me someday.” Clarke nodded, following her to the door.

They opened it to find Diyoza standing there. Octavia and Diyoza regarded each other politely, though not speaking. “I was hoping to have a word with you, if you don’t mind” she looked at Clarke.

 

Clarke stepped aside, allowing her to pass. “How’s Marcus?” she asked. “He’s better” Clarke replied “a little confused with all that has happened, but mom says he’ll make a full recovery.” Clarke motioned for her to sit down. “I was serious about sharing the valley” she looked at Clarke. “It was never my intent to take over or destroy your home” she rubbed her rounded stomach “I just wanted my daughter to have a real home.” Clarke smiled, that was something she could agree with, she wanted that for Madi, too “I know the feeling” she replied “it was my daughter’s home” Clarke reminded her. “Yeah, I know. I’m sorry that it became a pawn in a war, and I’m sorry I let McCreary destroy it.” Clarke scoffed “how could you sleep with a guy like that?” she asked. Diyoza shrugged “he was a means to an end, I wasn’t supposed to end up with a souvenir” she snorted. “Let’s hope she turns out more like her mother” Clarke grunted “the world doesn’t need another graveyard McCreary.” Diyoza snorted “trust me, I know that” shook her head. They talked for a few more minutes before Diyoza said she wanted to go see Marcus. After she left, Clarke laughed softly. While Diyoza didn’t actually use the words, she figured that conversation was the closest thing to an apology she was going to get. Not that she was expecting one.

 

Ten minutes later, Raven was at her door. “Did you come to apologize, too?” Clarke asked. Raven snorted “hell no” she grinned “but I’m not surprised people did, Murphy really lit into them.” She walked into the quarters “I just came to see how you’re doing today” she sat on the chair. “better than yesterday” Clarke grinned “I had one hell of a headache” she admitted. “I can’t imagine why” she grunted. “Bellamy was not happy that Murphy got you to open up” Raven laughed “some might even say he was jealous.” Clarke rolled her eyes “he’s with Echo” she reminded her friend. “So, he still cares about you, and I think it bothers him that you won’t talk to him” she countered. “he had to know how what he did was going to affect me” Clarke pointed out.

 

 “I mean he didn’t want to cause harm to his family, but he was willing to sacrifice mine?” bitterness crept into her voice. “and I was supposed to care more about him and leave my daughter in the hands of that monster?” she asked. Raven was never back in Polis, but she’d heard enough to know she didn’t want to be. “maybe you should tell him these things?” Raven snorted. “what’s the point?” Clarke sighed “the damage is done.” Raven bobbed her head in agreement “so undo it” she shrugged. “you know when he thought you were dead, he was devastated” Raven looked at her. “For days, he just stood at the window, watching the earth burn, beating himself up because he left you to die.” Clarke sighed “and he shows it by…” Raven held her hand up “I’m just saying” she sighed, not really wanting to rehash things. “I’ll think about it” Clarke shrugged. Raven stood up, “I just wanted to make sure you were okay” she smiled at her friend “I’m not going to get into you and Bellamy’s issues.” Clarke nodded “thanks Rae, I’m really okay” she grinned.

 

Later as Clarke was walking to the medbay to check on Marcus and collect Madi, Echo fell into step beside her. “You really need to talk to Bellamy” she wasted no time on small talk. Clarke sighed and turned to look at her “why does everyone care that I forgive Bellamy, when he put _my daughter_ at risk?” she asked angrily. “Did any of you wonder why Madi was hidden in the first place? Her parents didn’t want her to be subject to that life, and neither did I, yet the decision was taken out of my hands” she pointed out. “He emotionally blackmailed a twelve-year-old, and I’m supposed to bow down to him?” Echo winced, she supposed Clarke had a point “look, I wasn’t there, I don’t know how things went down, but Bellamy is really hurting Clarke” she sighed “he knows he messed up, especially after Murphy read him the riot act yesterday.”

 

 Clarke crossed her arms over her chest. “and why do you care if Bellamy and I are having a problem?” she arched her eyebrows “I would think that would make you feel more secure in his life?” Echo shook her head, she knew she shouldn’t get involved, but Bellamy was in a bad place right now and in this case, he really needed to talk things out with Clarke. “He cares about you Clarke, he may even love you, and yes that should concern me” she agreed. “But I also love him and he is really hurting right now, and you talking to him would go far to change that.” Clarke sighed “that must’ve been some speech Murphy made” she remarked. “He kind of let us all have it” Echo admitted, wincing slightly. “Look, I will think about talking to Bellamy” she closed her eyes for a second “but he crossed a line, one that I’m not sure can be uncrossed” she admitted “just like Madi told him when he did it.” Echo took a deep breath “I understand” she sighed “just think about it” she pleaded, then turned and walked away.

 

Clarke continued on her way to the medbay. Someone tapped her on the shoulder “what now?” she turned to find Emori standing in front of her and immediately felt bad. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath “I’m sorry, it’s been an interesting day” she sighed “and full disclosure, if one more person tells me I need to talk to Bellamy I might just explode” she declared. “So noted” Emori laughed “lucky for me, I just wanted to make sure you were okay” she smiled softly “John told me what happened.” Clarke laughed “apparently, I missed one hell of a speech” she grunted “I have had visitor after visitor all day long.” Emori grinned “yeah, he pretty much let them have it” she chuckled. “I don’t know what happened Clarke” Emori smiled softly at her “I wasn’t there, but I do know what it’s like to go full on protective mode of somebody, especially a kid, and from all that I’ve heard, whatever you are doing or not doing to Bellamy, he probably deserves it.” Clarke nodded gratefully “thank you” she spoke quietly “for understanding.” Emori chuckled “men have sensitive egos” she rolled her eyes “and we women are supposed to stroke said egos, even if it costs us something in the end. I don’t buy into that theory” she admitted. “I say protect what is yours and if the men cannot man up and deal with it, that’s on them.”


	8. Brutal honesty

 

After the day she had, Clarke was not surprised to open her door to find Bellamy standing there. “I wondered when you would show up?” she sighed leaving the door open, but walking away. Bellamy took that as a sign that he was supposed to follow, though her cold demeanor made him wonder if that was such a good idea. “Is this not a good time?” he asked, following her, closing the door behind her. She shrugged “it’s as good as any” she murmured. Bellamy bit his lower lip. “what do you mean you wondered when I would show up?” he asked, thrown off by her coolness. He hadn’t talked to her since the bridge a few days ago, so he was having a hard time wondering what he’d done this time.

 

She stopped and turned to face him, her arms crossed over her chest, her expression unreadable. “Since your whole _family_ has been here today telling me how wrong I am for the way I’m treating you, I just figured it wouldn’t be long before you showed up too” she murmured. The way she said family ate at him. It was like she didn’t consider her part of his family. Her face remained expressionless, but Bellamy had learned to read Clarke a long time ago. He didn’t know who had talked to her, or what they said, but clearly it didn’t sit well with her. “I didn’t send anybody to talk to you Clarke” he sighed “though after Murphy’s speech, I’m not surprised they did.” She stood in the middle of the room, just out of his reach, staring down at the floor.

 

“Clarke” he took a step toward her. She stepped back. “Okay” he held his hands up “I just came here to talk, but maybe you need to tell me what _my family_ has been saying to you today” he suggested. “Then I need you to tell me what I’ve done wrong, that you won’t even talk to me” he insisted.  Clarke shook her head “you know what, it’s not important” she declared, attempting to walk past him. Bellamy widened his stance, blocking her path “it is important” he countered “and I’m not leaving until I find out what is bothering you so much.” Clarke looked at him then, arms crossed over his chest. His expression rock hard, making sure she knew he meant every word he said.

 

For a few minutes, the two of them stood there, locked in standoff each with their arms crossed, stony faced and determined. Clarke refused to meet his gaze, but Bellamy steadily looked at her, daring her to defy him. If their friends could see them now, they would recognize these two people as the younger versions of themselves, newly arrived on the now destroyed Earth. “Fine, what do you want to know?” Clarke asked sitting on the couch opposite him, stretching out, so he couldn’t sit next to her. He resisted the urge to laugh at her move, that was such a Clarke move. When pushed into a corner, she tended to withdraw alienating those around her, but today, Bellamy wasn’t having it. “for one, who has been to see you today, and what have they been saying?” he asked “because I promise you, I have not sent anyone to see you today.”

 

When she still refused to speak, Bellamy pushed a chair to the middle of the room, opposite the couch and sat in it, waiting for her to say something. He tried to keep his face a mask of indifference. For those who knew her, there were two very different sides to Clarke. If she was trying to find a way to protect her people, her daughter, Clarke would fight to the end, even if it meant dying for them. When it came to protecting herself or facing hard, emotional truths Clarke’s first instinct was always to run away, to withdraw. But today, she wouldn’t get that choice, he didn’t care what he had to do to get her to open up, he was going to do it. They sat in an uncomfortable silence for several minutes “I’m not leaving Clarke” he leveled his gaze at her “and I’m not letting you leave, so you might as well tell me what I want to know.”

 

He saw the wheels turning in her head, as she glanced toward the door. “nobody’s coming to interrupt us” he assured her “I saw Madi in the hall, told her you and I needed to talk. Last I saw, she was going to have supper with Kane and Abby.” She scowled in response to his words “you’ve thought of everything, haven’t you” she spat out. Bellamy ignored her words, he knew she would try to bait him into starting a fight with her, which would cause him to leave. “why don’t you ask _your family_ if you’re so desperate to know what they said. “Dammit Clarke” he stood up and walked over to the couch, forcing her to move so he could sit next to her.

 

When she tried to move away from him, he moved with her, effectively trapping her between the edge of the couch and his body. She tried to stand up, but he clamped down on her thighs, just hard enough to keep her in place. “For the last time, _I did not send anyone to talk to you today”_ he declared. “And you’re my family too, you and Madi, so would you please stop saying it like that?” She snorted “yeah, sure” she spoke just above a whisper. Bellamy closed his eyes and counted to ten. “Clarke, please” his tone was gentler “tell me what happened.” He listened as she told him about Octavia, Echo and Raven’s visits and how they all told her she needed to forgive him. “Well, they aren’t wrong” he pointed out “I mean you said you forgave me, but you refuse to spend more than five minutes with me.”

 

Clarke’s expression softened, tears glistened in her eyes “you have your family, I have mine” she glanced at a picture of Madi that hung on the wall. Clearly, it was one of Clarke’s drawings, she’d always been talented artist. He loosened his grip on her thigh, and looked around the room at the many pictures there were of the two of them. “she’s a great kid Clarke, you did a great job with her, taught her how to take care of herself too” he remarked. “it’s a good thing I did, since you made sure she would always have to fight for her life” Clarke scowled at him. “There was no other option Clarke” he sighed “and I didn’t _make_ her do anything. I gave her a choice.” She scoffed “you emotionally blackmailed her” Clarke countered “told her if she didn’t this one thing, I would die. She. Was. A. child. Bellamy” Clarke spat out angrily “and you basically told her do this or the only other person that mattered to her would die. What did you think she was going to do?”

 

“There wasn’t another choice” he denied her statement. “There was, you could have left that psycho sister of yours and gone to the valley with us, all you had to do was set me free” Clarke challenged. Bellamy sighed “yes, I could have found another way to deal with O” he agreed. “don’t you mean Bloodreina?” Clarke arched her eyebrows. “but what would have happened to Harper and Monty, and Echo?” he countered, ignoring her last remark. “So, you took my only family, _my child_ , and made her a pawn in your evil siblings game to rule the world?” she asked icily, “and I’m just supposed to forget that and trust that you won’t do it again?” Bellamy hung his head, so that’s what was bothering her, why she wouldn’t spend five minutes with him or let Madi be anywhere near him.

“Clarke” he murmured “I can protect her, you can trust that.”  She shook her head “no, you can’t Bellamy” Clarke countered “you can’t protect her from every enemy who wants to claim the power of the flame” she responded “there’s only one way to get that power, and because of you Madi always has to watch her back.” Bellamy sighed “nobody wants that power, Clarke” he told her “they all listen to her, you’ve seen it, I know you have.” Clarke grunted “sooner or later, someone will want that power and thanks to you using _my family_ to protect yours, she will always have a target on her back” Clarke refuted “and since you can’t be with her every minute of every day you can’t guarantee her safety.” Bellamy chortled “you know she does a pretty good job of protecting herself” he pointed out. “she took out four grown men in seconds the first time we met her.”  Clarke shook her head “but she shouldn’t have to” she spoke softly, a single tear running down her cheek “and you did that.” The last line delivered just barely over a whisper. “so yes, I forgive you Bellamy” she looked at him “but I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to trust you again.”

 

Bellamy sucked in a breath at her words. They cut deeper than he thought they would. He wished he could defend her words, but she was right, he couldn’t. The words Madi said the day he’d given her the option of taking the flame, or risk losing Clarke came back to him in a flood of pain. Maybe Clarke would never truly forgive him, or worse yet maybe she would forgive him, but never be able to trust him again. Maybe they would forever be the strangers they’d become since that fateful decision. The thought of that hurt more than he wanted to admit. Clarke stood up and walked to the door “Are you happy now? Did you get the answers you came to find?” she opened the door “because I’d really like to be alone right now.” Bellamy stood up, his heart heavy. Did he get the answers he wanted? Yeah, he did, but was he any happier for them, no. If anything, he felt worse. “I’m sorry Clarke” he reached for her, but she stepped back “I didn’t mean to put a target on Madi and I never meant to hurt either of you. I really thought it was the right answer” he sighed. “welcome to my world” Clarke spoke softly again “where doing the best thing you know always costs you more than anyone ever thinks it will” she blinked back tears, closing the door on him.

 

A feeling of heaviness, of sadness settled on Bellamy as he stared at the closed door. He never really knew what the costs were to Clarke for all the lives she took. Yeah, she probably saved as many as she took, probably more, but at what cost? How heavy did those deaths weigh on her? Bellamy wasn’t sure he wanted to know. The weight of this one decision was almost too much for him to bear. “what did you do to her?” Madi was the first person he saw when he turned around. He shook his head, it was like she had ESP or something. Every time Clarke was in a state of emotional upheaval, Madi was suddenly there. “I just needed to know why she wouldn’t talk to me” he shrugged “why she kept you away from me.” Madi looked at him “and did you like the answer you got?” she asked. He shook his head “I’m sorry Madi” he sighed “I never meant to put a price tag on your life.”

 

Madi shrugged “I’m not a baby Bellamy, I can protect myself, besides you didn’t force me” she pointed out. “I also didn’t give you a good reason to opt out” he countered. “I would die for Clarke, just like she would die for me” Madi leveled her gaze at him. “Clarke may hold you responsible, and she may blame you, but that’s because she thinks she has to take care of me, protect me” she explained “and when you did what you did, you took that ability away from her. You just need to give her some time, she’ll come around” Madi assured him. Bellamy snorted “in this lifetime?” he asked. Madi laughed “I can’t promise that” she grinned. Bellamy laughed at her brutal honesty, he looked back at the door Clarke had closed on him, “you probably need to make sure she’s okay” he sighed. “I’m sorry if I hurt her too much.” Madi shrugged “it’s good for her to get things out of her system, she holds too much in” Madi replied. Bellamy turned and walked down the hall “Bellamy” Madi called to him “don’t give up on her. She needs some time and some space, especially now, but don’t give up on her” she pleaded. He smiled and nodded “I won’t” he replied, sadness heavy in his voice.

 


	9. The path to forgiveness

 

Bellamy returned to his quarters to find Echo waiting for him “did you talk to her?” she asked. He nodded, “yeah, I did” he spoke quietly. Echo watched his facial expressions, she could tell that whatever the two of them talked about had shaken him up pretty good. “Can you get Raven and Octavia and bring them back here?” he asked, looking tired and haggard. He sat down on the couch seemingly defeated. “Are you okay?” she asked. “no” he admitted “I’m not, and I don’t know when I will be again.” Echo sighed, she didn’t know how to respond to his current state. She could, however do as he asked and find Raven and Octavia.

 

“Did you guys go see Clarke today?” he asked. The three of them nodded in response. “what the hell did you say to her?” he demanded, explaining to them what she said to him. “your _family?”_ Raven cocked her head, as in one that didn’t include her and Madi?” He nodded “that was the gist” he bobbed his head in agreement. “all I did was say how much you missed her” Raven held her hands up. The others responded the same way. Echo winced slightly “I might have been a little more abrasive” she sighed, “but I didn’t mean anything by it.”

 

“Enough with the cryptic questions Bellamy” Raven declared “what did Clarke say?” He ran a hand through his hair raggedly “I could barely get her to even talk to me at first” he shook his head. “but I told her I wasn’t leaving until we hashed things out.” He told them how he’d sent Madi away, asking her to give them some time, and how Clarke didn’t want to be anywhere near him for most of their talk. He snorted, “but once she got started” he sighed “she really let me have it.” Raven growled “Bellamy, what did she say?” she asked. “she accused me of sacrificing her daughter’s future by using her as a pawn in my psycho sister’s war for dominance as a way to save my family, while killing hers” he looked at Octavia, who had the grace to wince. “I told her I gave Madi a choice, and that Madi chose to take the flame” he said.

 

“How did she respond to that?” Echo asked. “She accused me of emotionally blackmailing her child, but telling her if she didn’t do this that Clarke would die” Bellamy told them what Clarke had said. “which amounted to giving her no real choice at all” Raven murmured. “basically, yeah” he nodded in agreement. So, she didn’t actually forgive you for that?” Echo asked. Bellamy nodded “she did, but she said I basically handed Madi, Clarke’s only family a death sentence, because sooner or later someone is going to want to harness the power of the commanders and…”  Echo sighed, understanding everything now “and the only way to harness the power of the commander is to kill the one who possesses it.” Bellamy nodded gravely “I told her I had no other choice, but she said I had one other choice and refused to even think about it.”

 

“So, did the two of actually work anything out?” Raven asked. Bellamy shook his head sadly “she said she could forgive me for the choice I made, because she’s done it a million times, but she wasn’t sure she would ever be able to trust me again.” Echo wrapped her arms around him He told them how she walked to the door, holding it open for him. “I never truly understood the costs of the decisions she’s had to make until that moment” he sighed repeating to them her final words. The room was quiet for a moment, as if nobody knew what to say. “You and Clarke have survived fat worse than this” Octavia broke the silence. Bellamy spun around to face her, his expression incredulous “this was your fault” he looked at her. “All you had to do was compromise, to share the land, that you didn’t even own to begin with” he spoke angrily “but you were such a power-hungry bit…”

 

Echo stepped in front of him “Bellamy, you don’t want to do this” she turned his face so that she looked into his eyes. “trust me, this is not a line you want to draw” she told him. Bellamy laid his head on her shoulder, accepting the comfort she offered. She knew he probably wasn’t wrong in his thinking. And while he was as distant from the little sister he loved so much as he’d ever been, saying anything to her at this time, when he was already in so much pain would only do more harm.  Not that Octavia didn’t need to hear such things, but there was a time and a place for that to be done.

 

Octavia fled the room as soon as Bellamy uttered those words, Echo looked at Raven, who nodded and followed her out, leaving the two of them alone. She guided him to the couch, where they sat quietly “She’s not wrong you know” he finally spoke “I could…should have stood up to my sister.” Echo snorted “not likely, as out of control as she was, she’d have killed all of you and marched anyway.” Bellamy leaned his head back on the couch “I never knew she carried so much pain” he sighed “she never said anything.” Echo knew they were talking about Clarke again.

 

“it’s easier to bury the pain or let it turn to something else instead, than to talk about it” she replied. She and Clarke would never be great friends, but Echo knew a little about overcoming pain before it overcame you. People who were often seen as strong, often hid a lifetime of pain. They used it as a life force to do what had to be done, even in the toughest of times.  Bellamy bent down, cupping his face in his hands “what if I lost her forever?” he asked. “She just needs time Bellamy, and a place to raise Madi, where she doesn’t have to worry about someone going after her for the power of the commanders” Echo assured him.

“If you want to do something, find that place” she suggested. “If you can give Clarke freedom from worrying about that, she will be able to focus on other things, like truly forgiving you” Echo pointed out.

 

Bellamy pulled her into his arms until their faces were separated by mere inches “thank you” he spoke softly, closing the distance between them and claiming her lips “I truly don’t understand why you put up with me’ he sighed. She laughed softly “it’s because you’re so hot” she whispered jokingly. Bellamy grunted “not because I am caring and sensitive and that you love me?” he grinned at her. “maybe some of that too” she agreed, kissing him again, pushing him down onto the couch and falling on top of him.

 

“Dammit Octavia stop” Raven called running after Octavia as fast as her bum leg could carry her. “Raven, what the hell” Murphy yelled when she nearly ran him over. “I can explain, but first you have to stop Octavia” she pointed down the hall. “why?” He asked. “Just do it” Raven barked impatiently.  “Okay, don’t blow a gasket” he grumbled, easily catching up to her and securing her within his arms. “let go of me Murphy” Octavia struggled against him futilely.  “sorry” Murphy tightened his grip “I don’t know why yet, but I am supposed to stop you.” Eventually, she stopped struggling against him and he loosened his hold just enough to make it comfortable for her.

 

“What the hell is going on out here?” Abby emerged from the medbay. Murphy shrugged as Raven caught up to them “Dunno, ask her?” he nodded his head in her direction. She stopped, clutching her chest, trying to catch her breath. After a few minutes, she stood up and began to explain “Bellamy went to Clarke demanding answers, and when she gave them to him, he only had more questions, which led to more answers and a lot of hurtful things were said” she looked at their bewildered faces. “I think” Abby nodded at Murphy, who still held Octavia in his arms “that we need to continue this conversation in private” she looked around noting the audience that was gathering.

 

The four of them entered the medbay and Abby secured the door, so they wouldn’t be interrupted. “okay, you can let her go now” Abby looked pointedly at Murphy. He released Octavia, who batted at him angrily. “stop it Octavia” Abby commanded. She glared at Abby, but stopped anyway. Abby turned her attention to Raven “okay, start at the beginning and tell us what happened” she instructed. Raven sank into a nearby chair. “after Murphy’s speech on the cargo ship Bellamy decided to pay a visit to Clarke” Raven told them about the visit and what had been said. “he poked the Clarke bear and she bit back, huh?” Murphy chuckled. “shut up Murphy” Abby and Raven said at the same time.  He grinned sitting back in his chair “okay continue” he shrugged. “So, after Clarke had her say and booted him, he called us in talked to all of us” she continued her story telling them how he had blamed Octavia for the end result of his problems with Clarke, ending in the foot race from hell.

 

“Are you okay?” Abby looked at Octavia, who still had tears streaming down her cheeks. Murphy rolled his eyes and passed her a box of tissues. “This can’t surprise you”  he snorted “when we left earth for the ring, you were just normal moody Octavia” he looked at her. “Then all of a sudden six years later, you’re some super bitch who puts people in fighting pit for not kissing your feet and eat them after they’re dead.” Marcus, who was waking up shook his head as Abby helped him to a sitting positon, “beautiful analogy” he grunted “but it didn’t exactly happen overnight like that.”

 

“Than how did it happen?” Raven chimed in “because nobody wants to talk about what changed everybody into who they became, but true forgiveness doesn’t come from out of the dark” she pointed out. All eyes turned to Octavia “I didn’t want to become that person” she spoke so softly they could barely hear her. “we didn’t live on the ring where there were only seven of you” she looked at Raven and Bellamy “Six actually,” Murphy reminded her. “nor did we live in the valley with one other person.” Raven grunted “living on the ring wasn’t problem free” she leveled her gaze at Murphy. “Bite me Raven” he retorted. Abby cleared her thoat, looking between the two of them. “sorry” the apologized “continue.”

 

“At first, it was easy, everybody got along and those who didn’t just stayed in their respective bunkers, we even had a council to help make decisions” Octavia began. “But six years is a long time, people became impatient and the discipline that once worked, no longer did. There was a knock at the door. Abby got up, returning with Clarke and Maddi, followed closely, though not accidently by Bellamy and Echo. “I had Jackson get them” she answered the curious looks “we can’t go into the new world with all these hard feelings, so we might as well get things hashed out” she took her spot next to Marcus. Clarke, who appeared to be guarded by Madi, sat in the chair between Murphy and Madi, not looking at Bellamy. Murphy smirked at this, but stopped when Madi glared at him “Sorry” he mumbled. Bellamy sat on the opposite wall, not looking at Clarke or Octavia. “what are you waiting for?” he asked impatiently. “Be nice Murphy” Madi chided. “yes, Clarke junior” he sighed dramatically, shaking his head. Clarke laughed softly at that, patting her shoulders.

 

Octavia continued “the twelve hundred grounder clans weren’t used to our way of governing” she explained “their whole culture was to follow one leader, even unto death.” She went on to explain how it was hard for justice to be carried out when the majority of the residents refused to listen. “So I took a cue from Jaha” she shrugged. “That was your first mistake” Murphy chortled. She glared at him “it worked, for a little while, but then something else happened” she sighed. This part Clarke had already heard, as sad and as disgusting as it was, what happened next fell under the we do what we need to do to survive umbrella. “I think I’d rather eat algae” Murphy grimaced clutching his stomach.

 

“So, fine, we get how you got there” Bellamy had heard more than enough to figure out who his sister had become and why, not to mention the people eating thing was just gross. “when we came back, we had resources, a place to go, one that was big enough for all of us to share, but that wasn’t something you were willing to do. Hell, Monty and Harper would have gladly stayed in the bunker” he pointed out.

 

“My whole life, I was just the girl under the floor” she spoke quietly, sadly, “a simple nobody that mattered, not even a little” a single tear slid done her cheek. “Then we came to earth and suddenly I was somebody” she shrugged.  “yeah, a spoiled, entitled brat” Murphy snorted. “Shall we discuss what you were at that time?” Raven cocked her head. That shut him up pretty quickly. Clarke laughed softly at that. Bellamy watched her for a minute, than looked away when she caught him looking.

 

“Then I met Lincoln and Indra, they taught me that I was more than the girl under the floor. That I had the capacity to be a warrior, someone strong and smart, who didn’t bow down to anyone or anything” she declared. “It felt nice to be that person, to know that people had to listen to me, it was kind of addicting” she admitted. “You don’t say” Bellamy snorted. She looked at him “I’m sorry that I made you choose between me and your best friend, your family” she looked at Clarke, but was talking to her brother. The she turned her attention to Clarke “I’m sorry that Madi became a pawn in my psycho bitch phase, that you have to now be scared for her future” she sighed. “most of all Madi, I’m sorry that you didn’t get to meet the people in those stories that Clarke told you. I promise you they all existed at one point.”

 

“and yet” Clarke spoke for the first time “it would seem that the most well-adjusted person in this mess is you, my daughter” she pulled the little girl in for a hug. Madi kissed her cheek “it’s because I’m a kid” she told them all “and everybody knows kids are more flexible than old people” she laughed. “Brat” Murphy swatted her playfully, then looked at Clarke “are you sure she isn’t really yours, that you somehow procreated a child all by yourself?” he asked “because she damn sure inherited your smart mouth.” Abby laughed at that “finally, a little justice” she chuckled. Clarke groaned “you’re enjoying this far too much” she glowered at her mother. “I am” Abby agreed “I love getting to watch you raise yourself.”  

 

Marcus, who had been quietly listening to all of them talk suddenly spoke up. “It doesn’t matter if we were in the bunker, on the ring or living in the valley, and it sounds like the two of you had it the best out of all of us” he looked at Clarke and Madi. “we all changed a lot in six years” he told them “most of you spent more time living apart, than you ever did together” he pointed out. “we all lived different lives in that period, and we now have to get to know the people we’ve become, rather than look for the people we left behind.” He looked around at them “Most of you, maybe not Madi” he looked at her “have had to do unbelievable things just to be standing here in this room, at this time.”

 

Madi shook her head “nope, there’s blood on my hands too” she admitted. “she’s a little badass” Murphy chuckled “don’t screw with her.” Madi beamed up at him “I knew there was a reason you were my favorite” she laughed. “Don’t get used to it” Raven grunted “he’ll screw it up somehow.” They all laughed at that. “my point is” Marcus continued “we can’t take all this baggage into the new world or we’re just going to keep repeating the pattern” he pointed out and that is not what we want to happen.” He looked around the room, you could tell just by where people sat and who they sat with a lot of forgiveness needed to happen. “forgiveness, trust, it won’t happen overnight, but it has to start somewhere” he sighed “so let it start here.”


	10. Author's note

I have gotten a couple questions about where this story is headed. So, I would like to answer those questions.

My writing process is a maybe a little different than others. I start with an idea of what I want to see or create, a character I want to see more of, a storyline I want to see that I am not currently getting on the show. And, I know where I want it to end and what I want that to look like. Everything in between quite literally happens as I type the story. Nothing is pre-written and then typed, it comes out on the page the same way it comes out of my head. 

That said, I have thoughts about where this fic is headed and judging by the thoughts currently running through my head, it does not end up with Bellamy and Clarke in a romantic relationship. However, that could change. I believe Bellamy and Clarke need to come to a better understanding of who they are as people and how the time apart has changed them,individually and together before they should be thrown into a romantic relationship that will change everything about them again.This includes the families they have created and the loves they have found in their time apart.

I am in the process of creating a brand new character who I feel will pair very well with Clarke. I don't quite know how the will look or where it will end up. I have also been toying with a Clarke/Murphy relationship, though to be honest, I don't see that happening. As for Becho, I am in the 1% of people who do not believe that Becho is a bad thing. There will be love scenes with Becho, there will be Bellamy and Echo professing their love for each other. I understand there are hard-core Bellarkers, who cannot read those stories and I respect your right as people and as readers to make that choice. If you are one of them, I will not be offended if you unfavorite or unfollow this story or me. I myself cannot read stories or books written in first person perspective, so there are many fanfics that I can't even start to read. All that I ask is that you respect my right to write whatever and whoever I choose to.

If you want romantic Bellarke, Every other fic I write is Bellarke centric, usually ending with babies and weddings and the whole nine yards, you should probably check them out. It is my hope that you will keep an open mind, you might even surprise yourself and see something a little bit differently than you think you might.

To avoid confusion, I have removed the Bellarke tag from the story.

Be kind to each other

Rhonda


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't feeling creative enough to create two new characters and come up with a planet name, so I googled one. I hope you enjoy this chapter. 
> 
> I still don't know the ending on this one, so be patient with me.

After Marcus’ talk, everyone dispersed to their respective quarters, no one really said much. Not to each other or amongst themselves. He’d given them a lot to think about. His passionate speech about everyone, including Madi, having blood on their hands had them all pretty hard. Unfortunately, his words alone were not enough to immediately repair all the damage they’d inflicted on each other, but it was a good start. Bellamy hoped at the very least, it would help Clarke learn to trust him again.

 

The next day, they decided to take another trip to the new planet. Marcus still wasn’t well enough to travel and Diyoza decided to take a pass on this trip; but Clarke and Madi went along, as well as Indra, Jackson and Miller. They disembarked off the cargo ship and split up into teams. Clarke and Madi teamed up with Emori, Murphy and Miller. Octavia teamed up with Jackson, Indra, Bellamy and Echo. They split up, taking radios this time to get a hold of each other if necessary.

 

“this place looks like home” Madi murmured to Clarke. The two of the stood a little apart from the rest of the group surveying the landscape. The grass was lush and green, the trees were huge. It looked as if no one and nothing lived here. There were no paths, no worn places in the grass, but at the same time the land was not overgrown as if someone tended to it or something ate it. Clarke nodded, it looked a lot like home, but where did the people live? Did people live here? She voiced her thoughts to Miller, who was just as in the dark as she was. He shrugged “I don’t know” he admitted “but it’s definitely a little eerie” he agreed.

 

 Madi looked around, then up, her sharp eyes watching everything. She cocked her head, looking into the tree line, at something that just seemed a little off. Clarke watched her daughter, following her gaze. “does bilaik look like a rope kom yu?” she spoke to Clarke in her native tongue. Clarke focused her gaze on the tree ahead, then laughed softly “Madi you’re a genius” she declared, grinning at her. The others turned to look at them, clearly confused. Neither Madi, nor Clarke had spoken a word, yet the other seemed to know exactly what they were thinking. That was also very eerie to them. “for those of us who don’t speak grounder language, would you care to translate?” Murphy drawled looking at them.  “Sorry” she grinned at him bobbing her head in the direction of the trees. “Look at the tree trunk” she instructed. “I don’t see anything” Murphy shrugged. Emori quietly scanned the tree line for a few minutes, before seeing what Madi and Clarke saw. “They live in the trees” she spoke the words aloud.   Clarke nodded “that’s what I’d say” she agreed.

 

 The others also looked up, “I still don’t see anything” Murphy grumbled. “that’s kind of the point” Emori snorted “it’s like hiding in plain sight.” He shrugged “I’ll have to take your word for it” he sighed. She rolled her eyes, turning him towards the trees, pointing to what Madi saw. He looked confused for a minute, then saw what appeared to be a ladder of some kind hanging against the tree. “Oh” he declared “I see it now.” Madi looked at him, rolling her eyes “that only took forever” she grunted. “I will squash you like a bug” he drawled grinning at her. “go ahead and try it” she laughed “I think I’m tougher than you.”  Clarke laughed “I think she would probably be harder to squash than you think” she chortled.

 

“Let’s go check it out” Miller looked at them. “sure, why not” Clarke agreed “but should we call the others first?” she asked. “Probably” he nodded “it might be better if we have a little backup.” They radioed the other team, who got their coordinates and headed towards them. Bellamy and Echo were the first to emerge from the tree line “What did you find?” he stopped in front of Clarke and Madi. Madi pointed to the trees. Like Murphy, he didn’t see anything at first, but Echo noticed right away. Without waiting, she walked over to the tree and ran her hands along the rope ladder then stepped onto it, testing its strength.  She climbed a few rungs, then decided it was safe, then without waiting for anyone else, she started to climb.

 

“Wait, we don’t know what’s up there” Bellamy ran after her. She stopped momentarily, “I’m sure whatever I find, I can handle it” she assured him. Bellamy didn’t disagree, Echo was no wimp, but he was not going to allow her to go up the ladder alone.  The others followed and were soon climbing the ladder hanging from the high tree. Madi stopped half way up and turned back, looking at the others impatiently. “We’re coming little commander” Murphy grumbled “chill already.” Clarke snorted, shaking her head “she’s going to beat you” she warned him. “Can I watch?” Emori caught up to them. “I’ll watch with you” Clarke grinned.

 

“Are you guys coming anytime soon” Madi stopped again, scowling at them. “Watch it young lady” Clarke warned “I’m still in charge.” Madi sighed and waited patiently for them to catch up, then scurried up the ladder. At the top, they found themselves looking at a village, totally encased in the trees. “Wow” Madi was the first to react. “Wow is right” Clarke agreed. “this looks like that village we saw in those old space movies on the ring” Emori chimed in. “this is cool” Murphy looked around approvingly.

 

Well hidden in the shade of the high trees were several shanties built around the barks of the trees, all of them connected by a series of walkways that were built in a square. A fence wrapped around the walkways, preventing accidental falls. Some of the houses had flickering lights on, as if they used candles or lanterns. Others were dark. In the far corner was a set of shanties that appeared abandoned. “I want to live there” Murphy spoke behind Clarke, pointing to the deserted looking corner. “me, too” she agreed. “of course, you two do” Madi grunted behind them. Clarke smirked “and if you live where I live, then just where do you think you would live?” she cocked her head at the teenager. “with grandma and Marcus” she retorted. “what no reply to that one?” Murphy snorted. Clarke laughed “my mom would love that” she shook her head.

 

“I see you have found our home” a voice boomed from behind them. Clarke jumped, not expecting to see anyone. “Where is this?” Bellamy asked. “who are you?” Clarke turned to see the man calling this place, his home. The others looked on, awed by what they saw.

The man grinned at their questions. “I am Alexander” he looked at Clarke “and this” he pointed to the village around them “is Gliease, our home” he answered. He smiled at their confused looks “would you like to take a look around?” he asked them. “yeah” Madi was the first to respond. Alexander laughed “and who might you be?” he looked at her. “I’m Madi” she replied “and that” she pointed at Clarke “is my mom, Clarke.” Clarke’s heart soared at her words. They introduced the rest of the people as well. “This is your second trip to our home” he looked at them. They were shocked that he’d known they were there.

 

 “If you knew we were here, why didn’t you let us know you were there?” Bellamy asked. “We did not know your intentions, or if you were friendly” he patiently explained “what brings you here to our home?” he asked. “that’s a very long story” Clarke sighed. “well, maybe you can tell it to me while I show you around” he suggested. She nodded and walked beside him, telling him their tale. “We lived on Earth, at least until it was destroyed” she began as she followed him “again” Murphy added ruefully. “again, huh?” Alexander looked at Murphy “that’s a story I need to hear too, but later” he looked back at Clarke. She filled him in on what had happened in the valley and how Monty had found their planet. “and you all want to live here, in our home?” he asked. Clarke nodded “we can’t live on the ship forever” she shrugged “and you have a huge planet” she pointed out. He smiled at her comment “a peaceful planet” he added “and we’d like to keep it that way.” Clarke smiled at his comment “trust me, I’ve had enough war in my life to try a little peace” she assured him. “How many in your group?” he asked. “415” Bellamy answered “but we’re from different clans” he started to explain, but Alex held up his hands “I am familiar with the clans” he told them.

 

“We wouldn’t all live here” Echo spoke up “many of the clans would split off into their own areas.” Alexander nodded “that many people couldn’t live here anyway” he held out his hands “as you can see, we have a small community.” Clarke looked around “are there other places like this?” she asked. “some” he admitted “not all of the clans live above ground, some live below while others choose to build on the ground.” She listened intently “and how many other villages are there?” she asked. “four” he replied “as you pointed out, we are on a big planet, so many of them we rarely see.”

 

As they talked, Alexander walked them around the village. Clarke was amazed at the cover they managed to create. They could look down and see the ground below them, but they had seen nothing when they were on the ground looking up. “This is impressive” she smiled at Alexander. “thank you” he acknowledged her compliment “we like to think so.”  Bellamy looked around “how many people live here?” Bellamy asked, seeing lights in some of the windows. He could also see the faces of curious onlookers, though cautious enough to stay in their homes. “about fifty, families, mostly” Alexander answered. “anybody my age?” Madi asked. “as a matter of fact, yes” he grinned at her “my daughter, for one, and she is dying to have friends her own age” he chuckled “she’s a little tired of her old dad.” Madi laughed at that “I know that feeling” she grinned at Clarke. “hush brat” Clarke grinned, pulling her into a hug.

 

Alexander smiled at them, then addressed the others. Are there any other children in your numbers?” he asked. Madi bristled and being called a child, but said nothing after a stern look from Clarke. “no, Madi is the only minor in our numbers” Bellamy responded, “she survived the second apocalypse with Clarke” he exclaimed. The earth was not meant to withstand all that damage” Alexander sighed. “no, it wasn’t” Clarke agreed. “Who else would come with you?” he looked at Clarke “assuming of course, we allow you that opportunity” he clarified. “My mom would probably come with me, and her boyfriend, Marcus” she replied “but I can’t speak for anyone else” she shrugged. “I could handle living in the trees” Murphy chuckled “swinging through the trees like Tarzan, the ape man.”  Alexander looked confused. “ignore him” Emori shook her head “he’s a wee bit crazy…” Alexander laughed at that.

 

Bellamy looked at Echo, who looked back at him “we could live here” he spoke for both of them. Octavia looked unsure “I don’t know” she sighed “I’d like to explore some more” she admitted. “I go where she goes” Indra bobbed her head in Octavia’s direction. Alexander looked at Miller and Jackson, “I think we’re overdue to live somewhere peaceful” Miller admitted. Jackson nodded in agreement. “and the others?” Alexander looked at Clarke. “you mean the 415?” she asked. He nodded “well, there’s something you should know before you extend the hand of welcome” Clarke eyed him. “several of the people on the ship at Eligius personal” she told him. “they answer to Colonel Diyoza.” Alexander laughed “of course, she survived the end of the world” he shook his head “they don’t come much brighter or much tougher than her.”

 

“my people are happy here” he looked at them “we live in peace and want to keep it that way” he told them “if your people can live that way, I think we can work things out, but I would love to meet others first.”  A girl about Madi’s age came running towards them “I’m bored dad, can I come out now?” she asked. He shook his head “it appears you already have” he drawled, leveling his gaze at her. The girl’s brown eyes twinkled as she shrugged, her brown hair falling off her shoulder as she looked up at him “well since you haven’t pulled your gun out I assume they’re safe” she pointed out. Clarke smirked, Madi would get along famously with this little girl. Alexander placed a hand on her shoulder “this impulsive, hard-headed little one is my daughter Megan” he introduced her. “I know a thing or two about hard-headed daughters” Clarke laughed. “It’s nice to meet you Megan, this is my daughter Madi” she pulled Madi to stand in front of her.

 

“Oh my gosh” she grinned “it’s about time somebody my age comes around here” Megan rolled her eyes “I thought I was going to die before seeing anybody else like me.” She reached for Madi’s hand “come on, I’ll show you my clubhouse” she tugged her gently “no boys allowed” she looked at her dad. “heaven forbid I enter your personal space” he chuckled grinning at her. Madi looked to Clarke for permission to go along “you said I should act my age more” she pointed out. “I haven’t even seen this place or met anyone else yet” she murmured. “You can come too” Megan told her “please, it’s been ages since I’ve seen anyone my age” she pleaded. Alexander looked at Clarke, nodding his consent “I can continue the tour with the others if you want to go” he assured her. “Please Clarke” Maddi begged “you know I can take care of myself.” Clarke sighed “fine, but when we get ready to leave you need to be ready to go” she told her. “Okay” Madi agreed quickly before running off with Megan.

 

“Suddenly, I’m chopped liver” she snorted. “What do you mean suddenly, you’ve always been chopped liver” Murphy retorted. “would a fall from this level seriously maim somebody?” Clarke looked at Alexander, then back at Murphy. “probably” he chuckled. “come on with it” Murphy grinned at her. She rolled her eyes and shook her head “I can’t your Madi and Jordan’s favorite” she sighed. “Yes, my daughter likes old curmudgeons, as well” Alexander laughed, “having daughters can be fun, huh?” he shook his head. “at times” Clarke agreed, laughing.

Bellamy watched the interaction between Clarke and Alexander with interest. He wasn’t sure he liked what he saw. Maybe it was because his own relationship with her was so strained, or maybe it was something else, but he was highly uncomfortable with the bonding the two of them were doing at the moment.

 


	12. Chapter 12

Alexander finished touring the rest of the village with them, even showing them a lift system that was actually the way most of them got down to the ground when they needed to. Bellamy only heard and saw half of what he was saying as he was continuously looking for Clarke and Madi. “I can take you to them, if it would make you feel better” he turned to look at him. Bellamy shook his head, feeling bad for worrying more about Clarke and Madi, while ignoring Echo. “it’s okay” he murmured “I’m sure they’re fine.” Alex laughed softly “I’m sure they are too” he assured Bellamy “If I had to guess, I would say Megan is asking them about a dozen questions about their lives off this horrible planet” he used air quotes on the last two words. Bellamy smirked at that “this planet doesn’t look so horrible” he countered, still looking towards the hut Clarke and Madi disappeared into. 

Alexander studied him “you seem really worried about them” he cocked his head. Bellamy sighed “yeah, I kind of messed up a while ago with Clarke and Madi” he admitted “ever since then Clarke has been less than trusting of me.” Alexander laughed softly “I can see why you would want to protect her, she strikes me as the kind of person who doesn’t really need it” he drawled. “she can take care of herself” Bellamy agreed. She had to in order to survive the last six years, “but she doesn’t always make the smartest choices, especially when she’s backed into a corner” he sighed. “I highly doubt my twelve-year-old daughter is going to back her into a corner” he chuckled “but if you’re really that worried about her, you can go over there” he pointed to the cabin in the corner of the village. 

“that’s probably not a good ideal” Echo walked over to him, wrapping an arm around his waist. He bobbed his head in agreement “I know” he sighed. He felt like things were better between him and Clarke, but it still felt like there was an ocean of unspoken words between them. A few minutes later, Megan came running down the walkway “dad” she called breathlessly “can Madi and her mom stay for dinner?” she asked. Alexander laughed “you do realize my dear that they live on a ship high above us, right?” he asked. She nodded “but dad, they want to move here, and how better to figure out what it’s like here, then to spend some time?” she reasoned. Bellamy chuckled, he had to admit that she had a point. Alexander shook his head “and what does Madi and her mom have to say about this?” he asked. “Madi said yes” Megan answered “then she told Clarke the same thing I just told you” she added. 

Bellamy outright laughed at her last comment. That sounded like something Madi would say. “you’re all welcome to stay” Alexander turned to look at them. Murphy shrugged “I could eat, especially if its anything not made of algae” he drawled. Emori shook her head “really?” she sighed. “you can stay too” he told her. “I want to go back to the ship” she declared. “Me too” Echo agreed. “Somebody needs to give Abby and Marcus a report” Bellamy declared. If he knew Clarke, like he thought he did, she was going to stay, so he would have to go back for sure. “We’d love to stay and explore some more” Jackson spoke. Miller nodded in agreement. Alexander turned back to his daughter “they can stay if they want to” he told her. “yeah! Thanks daddy” she hugged him, then ran back the other way.

In the end, Murphy, Clarke, Madi, Jackson and Miller stayed while the rest returned to the ship. On the way back to the ship, Bellamy was very quiet, too quiet. “they’ll be fine” Echo assured him “Clarke and Madi can take care of themselves, plus Murphy, Miller and Jackson are there too” she added. “Alexander seems nice enough” Octavia said “and his daughter already loves Clarke, so I wouldn’t worry too much about them.” If he was being honest, he was more concerned about Clarke’s virtue, then her safety. She seemed to hit it off pretty well with the commander of Gilease. When they returned to the ship, Bellamy went to find Raven, Shaw, Jordan, Abby and Marcus to give them an update. “Where’s Clarke?” Abby asked when they entered her quarters. Marcus was recovering nicely and had been released to Abby’s care. He still had to rest and take it easy, but he hoped to be able to go on the next mission to the new planet.

“Madi made a new friend on Gilease, and they got invited to dinner” Bellamy answered. “and you let her?” Abby cocked her head at him. “It’s been a long time since anyone has let your daughter do anything” he retorted. Marcus chuckled “I’d have thought you would have gotten used to that by now.” Abby scowled at him “we don’t know anything about this guy” she sighed “and who is this friend of Madi’s?” she demanded. “Alexander’s daughter” Bellamy replied “she’s the same age as Madi.” Abby sighed “I swear Clarke is trying to get hurt” she declared. “I don’t think he’s going to hurt her” Bellamy told her “he seems to like her actually” he murmured “he seemed pretty taken with her.”

Abby watched Bellamy’s face as he said that “and how does that make you feel?” she asked. Bellamy sighed “I don’t know” he admitted. “I guess it bothers me that she so readily accepts Alexander and his community, when she runs away from here” he motioned at the ship “every chance she gets.” Abby grinned at him, but said nothing. “What, Abby?” he demanded “You still haven’t figured it out yet, have you?” she asked. “apparently not” he declared “why don’t you fill me in?” Abby reached out to touch his shoulder “this isn’t about her choosing Alexander over you, over us” she told him “it’s about giving Madi a home where she can be a kid and not the commander. It’s about returning to the life the two of them had before we all came back and ruined it for them.” 

Bellamy sighed “she’s never going to forgive us, is she?” he asked. “yes, she will?” Abby assured him, “but this is a chance for her and Madi to be happy again” she smiled. “that may or may not include Alexander, or some other guy, are you going to be okay with that?” she asked him. “I’m with Echo” Abby he reminded her “and yet you seem awfully interested in what Alexander thinks or does about Clarke” she countered. “Because she is still my best friend, I still care about her” he responded “and because we don’t know anything about this guy or his village” he added. “So, we fix that” Marcus interrupted “Abby and I want to meet this man and his daughter anyway.” 

“I told them we’ come back tomorrow” Bellamy looked at him “you can go down then.” Abby sighed “you’re supposed to be resting” she reminded him. “It’s not like I’m going into battle Abby” Marcus pointed out. “I’ll just be sitting in a chair, then going for a walk” he told her, pointing out that she also told him he needed to start exercising. She gave a defeated sigh, she knew he wasn’t going to give up anyway. He’d been badgering her about going to the new planet, and now that Clarke had decided to stay, getting him to not go would be impossible. Bellamy told them about Alexander’s remarks about Diyoza as well. “Well, I’ll have to talk to her about him” Marcus remarked. Bellamy left soon after to find Echo and get some rest. He was still worried about leaving Madi and Clarke in Gilease, but at least she wasn’t alone. 

Echo and Bellamy sat on the couch in their quarters, watching a movie on the screen in their quarters. She could tell he was a little distracted because he was being really quiet. The movie was one of his favorites, but he wasn’t repeating the same lines he usually did. “She’s going to be okay” she murmured, pausing the movie. She knew that Clarke and Bellamy were closely bonded. She tried to be patient and supporting about his worry and concern for Clarke. She didn’t know if it came from his guilty feelings over what had happened on Earth or if she needed to worry about her place in his life. She often wondered what would have developed between he and Clarke had she not been left when Praimfaya hit. 

“I’m sorry” he took her hand into his “I just…” he couldn’t even put into words why he couldn’t let Clarke go without constantly worrying about her. She took a deep breath, then asked the question that she’d been wanting to ask for a long time. “do you love her?” she asked, looking into his eyes “are you in love with her?” Bellamy was silent for a minute, not immediately answering her question. “I don’t know” he answered honestly “I mean, yes I care about her, and maybe once a long time ago, I could have been in love with her” he admitted honestly. “But lately, it’s like the two of us are on different planets” he sighed. “well, technically…” Echo arched her eyebrows. He laughed harshly, tipping her head to look into her eyes “I love you” he told her “I’m with you” he told her. “for how long?” she asked “because, I love you, too Bellamy but if you’d rather be with Clarke…” she trailed off. “I don’t want to mislead you” he ran his thumb down her cheek “I am right where I want to be” he told her. 

And he meant it, he did care about Clarke, the two of them had been to hell and back since they first arrived on Earth six years ago. Until he and the others went up into space to survive praimfaya, they’d had a better and longer relationship with each other than they’d had with other people. The six years they’d spent apart and the lives they lived in those times, plus recent events, had really changed and challenged their relationship. On the other hand, he’d worked hard to understand, to get to a place where he could be comfortable loving Echo, and letting her and anybody else love him. Octavia, and maybe even Clarke could not understand that. Especially since, they were so busy fight Diyoza and each other that there wasn’t any time to talk about how he and Echo became a couple.

She sighed “it’s okay” she kissed him softly “I know you love me, but sometimes I begin to wonder if you love her too, and that kind of bothers me” she admitted “especially when I think of how she left you to die in the pits.” Bellamy laughed harshly at her words “that was not my favorite thing she’s ever done either” he murmured “but she was protecting Madi, and Madi is her current first priority these days.” Echo smiled sympathetically “it was her first priority for the last six years, her only priority” she corrected. “she lived a life different from ours, just like we lived a life different from your sister” she added. 

“Then we came back to earth and stepped right back into fighting each other, and Diyoza” she shook her head “everything changed.” Bellamy heard the sadness in her voice “just like you predicted” he sighed. “Hey” he tipped her head to look into her eyes “I wish I could make you feel better” he murmured “and I don’t intend to hurt you” he told her. She smiled softly “I know” she ran a finger down his cheek. Unfortunately, knowing he didn’t intend to hurt her didn’t mean he wouldn’t discover he actually did have feelings for Clarke and act on them. “I’ll talk to her when we get back to Gilease” he promised “and if something that happens in that conversation changes us, I will let you know.” She nodded “okay” she agreed softly “in the meantime, we’re okay, right?” she asked. He nodded, drawing her closer “yes, were okay” he gathered her in his arms, kissing her softly “better than okay” he whispered his hands finding the buttons on her shirt.


	13. Chapter 13

Early the next morning, Marcus was chomping at the bit to get down to the earth. He wanted to see Gilease. He wanted to make sure nothing had happened to Clarke and Madi, though he was also concerned about the others that stayed with her. He and Abby had talked to Diyoza the night before about Alexander. She said he was mostly a peaceful leader, which is why he chose not join her army on their journey to the Earth. This made Abby and Marcus feel a little better about Clarke and Madi staying behind. Bellamy was anxious too, for almost the same reasons, but also because he really needed to talk to Clarke, to hash things out once and for all, so that they could move on from their current state of distrust, maybe even become friends again. Beyond that, he didn’t know where their conversation would go, but he owed it to himself and to Echo to figure out where they stood.

 

Then he had to fix things with his sister, he knew she would most likely not live in the village with the others. Given her reign of terror, she would not be welcomed in a lot of places her people chose to settle. Before she left, he wanted to deal with the fallout of her thirst for power, and what it had done to their relationship. It physically hurt him that their relationship had come to this; to a point where part of him hated what she had become so much that he wished a part of her was dead. She was his baby sister, his only living relative and he wanted them to be past who they became in their six-year separation, and how it fundamentally changed their relationship. He wanted her to understand how he could possibly, under any circumstances find himself in a relationship with the woman who’d tried to kill her.

 

“Calm down Marcus” Abby chided “and sit down before you wear a hole in the carpet.” Marcus sighed “how can you sit there so calm, while your daughter is on a plane with a guy you don’t know?” he asked, taking a seat next to her. “have you met my daughter?” she grunted, knowing that even if she’d have been there when Madi begged to stay, Clarke would have left. “In case you forgot, she’s quite stubborn, likes to make her own decisions, and last I checked, quite capable of taking care of herself” she added. Marcus laughed “when did I become the one who tries to smother your daughter?” he asked sitting down beside her. Abby grinned “I learned that my daughter was capable years ago, and when she survived six years by herself” she shrugged. “Well, I still want to make sure she is okay” Marcus insisted. Abby kissed his cheek “thank you” she sighed. “for what?” he arched his brows at her. “For caring about my kid at least as much as I do.”

 

A couple of hours later, a new group loaded into the cargo ship to explore Gilease. This time, Marcus, Abby and Diyoza were among them. Indra, Gaia and Octavia also went, but they wanted to explore more of the planet. Jordan, Shaw and Raven also went on this trip, as well as Emori, Echo and Bellamy. They landed in the forest just as they had the day before, but instead of waiting for them to arrive at the village Madi and Megan came running toward the ship as they disembarked. “grandma” Madi threw herself into Abby’s arms. “There’s my little commander” Abby grinned, hugging her tightly.

 

Madi returned her hug, then squirmed away. “where’s your mom?” Abby asked. Madi shrugged “she was at the village, but Alexander said Megan and I could go play in the forest” she grinned. “this is Megan” she pulled Megan beside her, hooking her arm through Megan’s. Megan grinned awkwardly, waving her hand and smiling softly. “this is my grandma, Abby” Madi introduced her. “and this is Marcus, he’s kind of like my grandpa, I guess” she grinned at him. “does that mean I get hugs, too?” he asked. Madi grinned and gave him a hug. “Is your mom safe?” he asked her. She rolled her eyes at him “do you really think I would let something happen to her?” she asked. “Don’t encourage her to be too grown too soon” Clarke emerged from the clearing. “See ten fingers and ten toes” she held out her hands and stuck out her feet. “Don’t be a brat” Marcus murmured, pulling her into a hug. “How are you?” she asked when she pulled back to look at him. “well my guard let me out of the room, so I guess I’ll survive” he chuckled. Abby swatted at him “I’m glad you’re okay” she kissed Clarke’s cheek “and Madi looks like she is having a ball.” Clarke laughed softly “she is” she confirmed “she finally has someone her own age to hang out with.”

 

“Do you want to meet Alex?” she asked looking at Marcus and Abby. They nodded enthusiastically, but Bellamy silently bristled at the casual usage of the village leaders name. A reaction that did not go unnoticed by Echo. “we’ll catch up with you later” Octavia declared, telling them they wanted to explore the planet a little more. “I want to go, too” Echo leveled her gaze at Bellamy. He glanced down at her “you don’t have to…” he began, but she cut him off. “go have that talk with Clarke” she smiled at him, then kissed him softly. He ran his fingers across her lips “be careful” he cautioned. “I always am” she assured him.

 

When they got to the ground below the village, Madi and Megan made a mad scramble for the tree, to climb the rope ladder, but Clarke led the rest of the group to the lift Alex had showed her. She tugged a thick rope, lowering a platform with rails on three sides. “We figured you would have a hard time climbing the rope ladder” she looked at Marcus. “maybe just a little” he agreed, grinning at her. When they got to the top of the ladder, they were met by Alexander, who had Madi and Megan by his side. “welcome” he greeted everyone “you’re just in time for lunch, if you’re hungry” he told them. They all agreed they could eat and joined everyone else in the village for lunch in slightly larger abode than the rest. “Colonel Diyoza” Alexander greeted her “it’s good to see you again” he greeted cordially. She nodded, returning his greeting. It was clear that while they might not be friends, they were at least friendly toward each other.

 

Once they were inside Alexander’s house, they introduced everyone. Marcus and Abby asked a lot of questions, which Alexander patiently answered. He offered those that hadn’t seen the village a tour. Bellamy stood next to Clarke “can we talk somewhere?” he asked her. Clarke nodded “we can go to Madi and I’s home if you want” she told him. Bellamy fell silent at her words, it surprised him that they had already made a home here. After Alexander left to show the others around, Bellamy and Clarke headed toward the home, explaining that Madi had claimed it as theirs last night. Tucked into the corner of the village, the house was lit with a lantern of some kind that appeared to be solar powered. “wow, you work fast” he grunted when he entered the house. It was decorated in brightly colored ribbons and pictures. She laughed “Madi picked it put because it’s close to Megan’s play fort.”

 

Bellamy looked around “does that mean you’re staying here?” he asked. Clarke shrugged “I really haven’t got that far” she admitted “but Madi is happy here, so…” she trailed off.  She motioned to a comfortable looking couch. Bellamy sat next to her “what’s on your mind Bellamy?” she looked at him. He bit his lower lip “I…um…” he began unsure of how to start “I need to know if we’re going to be okay” he looked at her. “I mean between what happened in the bunker and the fact that I’m with Echo, things feel….off” he shrugged “and it kind of bothers me.” Clarke sighed “I was angry Bell, really angry” she looked at him “after what you did to Madi, I didn’t care if you lived or died” she admitted. “you put a death sentence on my daughter” she murmured “There will always be a target on her back now because of that damn flame” she sighed. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to gather her thoughts and calm down. “I understand why you did it” she spoke calmer now, “but if you would have just listened to me, you would have known why I didn’t want you to do that.”

 

 

“you’re right” Bellamy admitted, “I didn’t think of the long-term consequences for Madi.” Using Madi’s natural status as a nightblood, was a way to stop Octavia’s reign of terror. She could steer the people away from Bloodreina’s rule. “I’m sorry, I never meant to put her in harm’s way.” Clarke chewed her lower lip “I know, and I know I’m being unfair. I’m working on it, I promise” she sighed. “This is a good place to start” she smiled at that. “She gets to be a kid again, like her parents wanted for her, like I wanted for her.” Bellamy got that, and if that made Clarke happy, then he was willing to accept her decision to stay. “Okay, if you’re happy here and Madi is happy here, then maybe you should stay” he agreed. She reached for his hand “Bellamy” she spoke softly “there’s plenty of room here for all of us, you and Echo can stay, too.”

 

He looked at her “you don’t care that I’m with her?” he asked. Clarke leveled her gaze at him “are you happy with her? Do you love her?” she asked. “I do and I am” he admitted “but it didn’t happen right away” he told her. “When we were in space and I thought you were dead…” his voice trailed off “I was not in a good place” he admitted. Murphy had Emori, Monty had Harper, Raven was solely focused on getting us back” he sighed. “I can figure out how it happened” she told him “the question is do you love her?” she asked. “would it bother you if I said yes?” he asked.

 

“I care about you Bellamy, I always will, maybe on some level I do love you, but I’m not in love with you” she looked him in the eyes. “I can’t open myself up to that kind of pain again. Especially not with you, you’re my best friend, even when I don’t deserve it” she smiled sadly. “So, again, I ask you “do you love her?” He smiled “I do” he admitted “I didn’t plan on it. I barely said two words to her for almost three years” he admitted, “but then we started hanging out and things just fell into place.” He shrugged.  He went on to explain how, much like them, her childhood and the life she lived had shaped her choices to that point. “she actually told me to talk to you” he murmured "that’s why she’s not here. To give us a chance to talk.”

 

Clarke laughed “she was so mad at me for leaving you in the pit” she grunted. “She obviously loves you, and judging from the way you are around her, you love her” she told him “If that’s true, then you should stay with her” She told him. “What about you?” he asked. Clarke shook her head, sadness creeping into her voice and her eyes “everybody I love dies” she shrugged “besides I’ve got Madi to worry about.” Bellamy wished he could say something, anything to make her feel better, but he could not refute her claim. She’d loved Finn and Lexa, both of whom were dead. She smiled softly at him “If Echo makes you happy, then be with her, it doesn’t bother me” she touched him “Your sister on the other hand, might have a few words to say about that…” she grinned.

 

He laughed softly “yeah, that’s another conversation I have to have, should be a fun one…” he blew out a ragged breath. Clarke reached around to hug” him “We’re okay Bellamy, you and me” she whispered. He held her to him for a minute “I really am sorry about Madi” he finally pulled away “I should have thought things out a little better.” Clarke laughed softly “Well, I don’t necessarily make the best decisions all the time” she admitted “I probably should have fought harder for you when Octavia threw you in the pit.” He snorted “as deranged as she was, she probably would have thrown you in there too.” He was still haunted by the look on her face when she threw him, Gaia and Indra in the pit. It was like she was completely unaware of who they were and how much she was supposed to care about them.

 

“Don’t be too hard on her Bellamy” Clarke spoke softly “she had a harder time in the six years we were all apart, then you or I did” she urged. “I’ll keep that in mind” he agreed “but I won’t let her decide who I choose to be with” he declared. “and you shouldn’t” Clarke agreed “but she, more than any of us has a reason to hate Echo, remember she barely survived the fight with Echo a couple of years ago.” Bellamy remembered that, he also remembered that Echo tried to kill Clarke on one occasion, which he pointed out to her. “People who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones” she murmured. Bellamy chuckled harshly, they all had blood on their hands, but Clarke seemed to have to hardest time forgiving herself for the things she needed to do to survive. “Well, maybe we can all put the things we’ve done behind us and move on” he sighed. Heaven knows he wasn’t much better at forgiving himself.

 

They heard Madi’s voice coming closer, followed by the light laughter of Abby and the low timber of Marcus’ voice. “The tour must be over” Clarke declared “they’ll be here soon, you’re welcome to stay until Echo gets back.” He stood up, I might scout out some of the homes to see what they look like” he declared “in case Echo wants to stay here.” He started walking towards the door. When he reached it, he turned to look at her “you and _Alex_ seemed kind of chummy” he declared, unable to hide the sarcasm in his voice. Clarke laughed softly at his tone “Does that bother you?” she asked amused. “a little” he admitted “you barely know him.” 

 

Clarke grinned at his statement “we’re becoming friends” she admitted “but beyond that, nothing is happening” she assured Bellamy. “We’re two people, raising smart-mouthed, too smart for their age teenage girls, so we often have a lot to talk about” she told him. “mostly, we commiserate on how hard it is to have teenage daughters” she laughed softly “we love them, but some days the urge to lock them up and throw away the key is very hard.” Bellamy laughed, he knew that feeling, or at least he used to. “I don’t know about Megan, but Madi is definitely a little….” He trailed off.  “hard-headed, stubborn” Clarke grunted. “I was going to say a lot like another teenage girl I used to know, but didn’t really want to go there” he chortled. She rolled her eyes “trust me, you’re not the first person to point that out” she laughed.

The door opened and Madi walked in followed by Abby and Marcus. “speaking of hard-headed, stubborn teenagers” he grinned at Madi. She rolled her eyes at him, then moved to sit on the couch next to Clarke. Clarke wrapped an arm around her small shoulder “why aren’t you with your new best friend?” she asked. “Alex said she should give us all some time to talk” Madi replied “we’re going to play later.”  Clarke kissed the top of her head “sounds like a plan to me. “I’m going to find Murphy” Bellamy stood in the open door “thanks for talking with me” he looked at Clarke. She smiled at him “my door is always open” she responded. He nodded, then walked out the door, closing it behind him.

 

“Did you and Bellamy work things out?” Abby asked sitting in a chair, next to Marcus, opposite Clarke and Madi. Clarke nodded “we’re okay” she replied “now, he has to figure out how to talk to Octavia.” Abby grunted “I’d like to be a fly on the wall for that conversation” she mused. Clarke nodded in agreement. “So, what do you think?” she asked “are you coming to stay here with us?” she hugged her daughter. Abby shrugged “it seemed nice enough” she agreed “but I think Marcus wants to build on the ground.” He nodded in agreement “I assume you two will be staying here?” he looked at them. “we like it here” Madi answered for them. Clarke laughed, shrugging her shoulders “Madi is happy here” she replied “and if she’s happy, then so am I.”


	14. Chapter 14

Bellamy was hanging out with Murphy later when Echo returned to the village with Octavia, Gaia and Indra. She walked up behind him, wrapping her arms around his waist, clasping her hands together. “Hi” she whispered in his ear, kissing him softly on the cheek. “Hi” he returned covering her hands with his. “Did you have a good tour of the planet?” he asked. She nodded “I did, did you have a good talk with Clarke. He bobbed his head in agreement “we are in a better place now” he told her. “Did you have fun with O?” he chortled. “oh yes, lots” she declared sarcastically. “we basically pretended not to notice each other.”  Bellamy sighed “yeah, she’s next on my list to talk to.” Murphy snorted “that’s a conversation I would love to see” he chortled. “Not me” Echo grunted. “sorry babe” she grinned at Bellamy, “but that doesn’t sound like a whole lot of fun to me.”  Bellamy nodded his head in agreement, “yeah, it’s not really something I’m looking forward to” he sighed.

 

“So, did you pick out a house, too?” Echo looked at Murphy. He nodded, pointing to the darkened home next to Clarke’s colorful one. “What about you guys?” he asked “Are you staying here with us?” Echo looked at Bellamy, eyebrows arched. “Are we?” she asked. “we could if you want to” he told her. “There’s a small home over there” he pointed to the opposite corner of the village, “has a small closet for your bows and arrows” he told her. She looked over her shoulder “can we go see it?” she asked. Bellamy nodded “sure” he agreed turning around. “See ya Murphy” he called as they walked towards the house. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do” Murphy called out laughingly. “Well that’s a small list” Echo retorted, turning to grin at him. He rolled his eyes and returned to his dark house, laughing.

 

“So, what happened with Clarke?” Echo asked as they walked. “We had a really good talk” he admitted, recapping their conversation, ending it with Clarke’s statement about not wanting to risk falling in love again because it hurts too much when they die. “Besides, she says she is focusing on Madi right now” he added. Echo grunted softly “I wish I could fault her thinking” she sighed. She’d experienced loss many times in her own life. It was part of the reason being an Azgeda spy was a perfect lifestyle for her, at least until she was forced to reckon with her past on the ring. There was nowhere to run and enemies to fight, except for her own demons. “facing your past like that is hard” she murmured “but someday, she’ll have no choice but to do it, too.”

 

Bellamy pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her waist. His hands caressed her lower back. He knew that she knew Clarke’s pain. Echo had lost her family when she was a young child, and was taken in by Queen Nia, of Azgeda, who taught her to be a spy. She’d eventually found someone, a man who treated her like a queen; a man who tried to take her away from that world. Unfortunately, he too became a victim of the grounder lifestyle, of Queen Nia, losing his life in an ugly battle. Then Nia had been killed by Lexa, and Roan by praimfaya after banishing her, leaving her completely alone is a world she was not prepared to live in.

 

“Someday, she’ll feel differently” she assured him “she just has to meet the right person, the one who won’t let her stay in that cycle” she leaned back and smiled up at him “I did.” He kissed her softly “yeah, that only took five years” he chuckled. She shrugged “she’ll be okay” she assured him “she has Madi to distract her, and let’s not forget how good she is at hiding when she wants to.” Bellamy grunted, “you aren’t kidding” he scoffed, “you can’t get that much farther from the rest of the village.” Echo laughed softly “well, at least she isn’t alone” she nodded at the darkened cabin next to Clarke’s colorful one. Bellamy shook his head “those two really are a pair, aren’t they” he grinned. Echo nodded “yeah, but they’ll both be okay, sooner or later” she assured him. They reached the cabin Bellamy told her about and stopped in front of it. “ready to check it out?” he asked. She nodded and followed him into the house.

 

“So, what do you think?” Bellamy and Echo stood on the walkway in front of the home he’d scoped out. She shrugged “I mean, it’s small, but I kind of like it” she admitted. “It’s not really smaller than our quarters on the ring” he pointed out “but if you want to look at building on the ground or away from here, I’m open to that, too” he told her. She reached out, grabbing the rails of the walkway, looking around, looking up “I kind of like it here” she admitted. “we’re a little out of the main living area, but not so far that we are set apart, and the view is spectacular” she looked up at the dusky pink sky.

 

“Plus, you can be close enough to keep an eye on Murphy, Madi and Clarke” she grinned at him. He hadn’t said anything , and she knew if she asked, he would leave with her, but she also knew a part of him wanted to be close to those three. He smiled softly at her, tipping her chin to look into her eyes “thank you” he kissed her, putting one hand on the back of her neck and pulling her into the kiss. “For what?” she asked breathlessly, when they broke apart. “for understanding me” he spoke softly. She trailed a finger down is cheek “I know how you work Bellamy Blake” she smiled at him “I’ve known ever since we were caged together in Mount Weather and you came back for me.”  He shrugged “you helped me out, what was I supposed to do, leave you to die?” he asked. “Many others would have” she shrugged. He laughed softly, lowering his head to nibble her earlobe “lucky for you, I’m not others” he grinned at her soft gasp. “what do you say we initiate our new home?” he grinned wickedly at her. “I could probably be persuaded” she drawled.

 

A little while later, Bellamy left to find Octavia. He needed to talk to her before she moved on, because he knew she hadn’t planned on staying with the rest of them. He found her on the ground below the village, talking to Miller and Jackson. “Can we talk?” he walked up to her. She looked at him “sure” she looked at him, walking to his side. They walked a little away from the group, finding some lush grass to sit on. “so, you’re leaving?” he looked at her. She nodded “you’re staying?” she glanced at him. He nodded “yeah, Echo and I have a place picked out in the village” he told her. She pursed her lips “what does Clarke think of that?” she murmured. “She basically gave us her blessing” he shrugged “said she wants to focus on raising Madi right now” he left out the part about her not wanting to risk her heart again. He knew above all, Octavia would know what that felt like, but he that wasn’t why he wanted to talk to his sister.

 

“Look, I know you’re probably not ready to accept the fact that I’m with Echo right now” he sighed “the two of you have a history, one that you’ll have to work out yourselves” he watched as she grimaced at his words. “I will tell you what I told Clarke, it didn’t happen overnight” he told her how it had taken three years to be cordial to Echo, that they didn’t immediately fall into bed, and then into love. “like us, she has a past” he murmured “and like us, it affected the way she acted and the things she said.” At her blank look, he continued “I’m not asking you to love her like I do” he shrugged “I’m not even asking you to like that I’m with her, I’m just asking you to have an open mind about it” he implored. “We have all done horrible, unforgiveable things to each other, to people we love in the name of leading, protecting others” he cocked his head at her “including you” he pointed out.

 

Finally, he saw his words hit home “we didn’t have it like you guys did on the ring or Madi and Clarke in Shadow Valley” she defended. “there wasn’t just two of us or just a few more, there were _hundreds_ of us Bellamy” she declared vehemently “and they were looking for me to keep them fed, to keep them healthy, to keep them….” Her voice broke, as tears rolled down her cheeks. She dropped her chin to her chest, sniffling quietly. “you don’t know what that’s like” she swiped at her eyes, brushing away tears. He laughed softly “I do know what that’s like” he responded. “I may not have been keeping _hundreds_ alive, but I did have to keep _one hundred_ kids alive, on a planet with no resources, no information and no help” he drawled. ”I had to make sure they were fed, safe, able to defend themselves” he told her. “I had to do things I didn’t want to, too” he looked at her.

 

He knew he didn’t have to talk about Lincoln, and what they’d done to him when they first met him, but he also knew a part of her still blamed him for Lincoln’s death. So, he took a deep breath and pressed on. “I know you blame me for Lincoln’s death, and I know you died a little when he did” he sighed “but I was doing the best I could with what information I had at the time” he told her. “yes, I was reveling in the power that Pike gave me” he bobbed his head “I’m not going to lie to you, having the power to make someone else do something can go to your head” he murmured. “It’s kind of nice when someone just does as you ask, because they know they have to” he looked at her. “and it’s easy to get caught up in that power, to get used to it,” he sighed. “But I never would have caused you any harm, I never would have left you in a pit to die. You’re my baby sister, I love you, even when you try to kill me” his voice dropped to just above a whisper, a single tear ran down his cheek.

 

She reached out with her thumb, wiping his tears away. “I was so happy to see you when you finally came back” she admitted. “that meant that I could get the heck out of the bunker, but then the war started and I owed it to my people to protect them” she told him. “I know you understand that.” He nodded “I do understand that” he agreed “but you were so busy _protecting_ your people, and so caught up in the adoration of your position, that you refused to even consider compromising” he pointed out. “Diyoza fired the first shot” she reminded him. “I am aware of that” he responded sharply “but she was at least willing to share the valley. She didn’t put her own people at risk, by giving them no choice, but to march into war, into death” he added. He knew he sounded harsh, but it was clear, she still had trouble seeing the error of her ways. “and she didn’t put Kane in some fighting pit to fight for his life.” He added.

 

He saw that point hit home, too. Octavia closed her eyes “you think that was easy?” she asked him angrily. “Do you think I _wanted_ to put my brother, my advisor, my best friend in a pit at the same time where only one of them would emerge?” she demanded. Bellamy shook his head “I think you had a choice” he spoke softly. “you could have lead your people down a path to peace, by showing them that blood doesn’t always have to have blood, or you could have shown them it’s okay to take what you want and damn the people, the places you have to kill that stand in your way” he murmured. “You chose the latter” his voice was flat “you chose power over love, over peace and you still think you can rationalize the consequences of those choices away” he sighed raggedly. “I meant what I said O” he sighed. “you’re my little sister, a part of me will always love a part of you, _but you tried to kill me O_!” he spoke angrily “On my worst day, I would never have done that to you.”

 

She was quiet at his words “I’m sorry” she looked up at him tears in her eyes “I know I made some bad choices” she picked at her hands “I know I chose power over love and when you survived the pit I relied on you being my forgiving big brother, who would just…forget” she sighed. “For once, I was somebody, people followed me. They feared me” she declared “I wasn’t the girl under the floor anymore, and I liked it” she admitted “maybe a little too much.” Bellamy snorted “ya think?” he chortled. “I love you Bell” she reached for his hand “and I know you love me. I relied on that love to cover a multitude of sins, but I never stopped to consider how much it cost you.” 

 

Bellamy grasped her hand in his “loving you, little sister has always cost me a lot” he murmured “because of the life we were forced to live” he continued “but I won’t let it cost me anything anymore” he insisted. “I won’t love you so much that I refuse to see your flaws and somehow cover them up. I won’t be that co-dependent brother anymore” he told her. “and I won’t break up with Echo, because you can’t get over the past. Especially when you have at least the same amount of blood on your hands” he leveled his gaze at her.  She leaned over and kissed his cheek “I understand” she sighed heavily “and I promise to have a clear head where Echo is concerned, but it won’t happen overnight” she added. He laughed “I already knew that” he pulled her in for a hug. “I love you O” he whispered “and I’m sorry I wasn’t there to help you lead the bunker.” She sighed “I’m kind of glad you weren’t” she declared “because as out of control as I was, I probably would have tried to kill you more than once” she admitted. He grunted “probably” he agreed, grinning at her.

 

“So, what about you and Clarke” Octavia asked, desperate for a change of conversation. Bellamy laughed, but answered her question “we’re okay” he smiled. “and how does she feel about you being with Echo?” she asked. “She doesn’t care” he told her about their conversation and how she wants to focus on raising Madi. “So, you don’t love her and she doesn’t love you?” she asked. “A part of us will always love the other” he replied “but not the way I love Echo or the way you loved Lincoln, we’re not like that.” Octavia shrugged “whatever, do what you want” she looked at him “I won’t be here to watch anyway, we’re going to build a settlement away from here” she looked over at Indra and Gaia. Bellamy didn’t know who _we_ was, but he hoped she would be happy, wherever she landed. He stood up, reaching for her hand “you know where to find me” he looked up in the trees. “I do” she kissed his cheek softly “and I won’t be a stranger.”

 

 


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end, I think...lol 
> 
> I dont know if there will be a sequel or not. I have another story to write a sequel to next though.

 

 

Clarke leaned against the rail, looking down at the ground below. The landscape just below hadn’t changed a lot in the last eight months, but the land beyond the view had become populated with people and houses. Nearly all the clans had chosen to move away from the village, setting up homes miles away. Raven and Shaw occupied the cabin next to Bellamy. Jackson and Miller set up a home near Octavia. Clarke, Murphy and Madi remained in what Bellamy referred to Exile Island, though they Clarke and Murphy had been better about being more social. Marcus and Abby kept in touch and visited often, but chose to make their home away from the village.

 

“Looking for anybody in particular?” Murphy joined her at the rail. “the girls left the morning, I was just wondering where they were” she looked at him. “They’re probably at the cargo ship hanging out” he shrugged. “Probably” she agreed. Madi and Megan or M&M as they had become known as since the two of them were pretty much inseparable, had been using the cargo ship as a fort since their play hut had been claimed as a residence. The Eligius ship floated in space on auto pilot, with a link in the cargo ship, just in case it was ever needed again.

 

“why are you so dressed up?” Clarke looked at him. “Got a date” he shrugged. “Does that mean Emori has forgiven you for being an ass?” she laughed. “maybe” he grinned “or it could mean that she just wants my body” he shimmied seductively as he said it. Clarke rolled her eyes “I need to go get my boots on, it’s getting deep in here…” she chuckled. “What about you and _Alex?”_ he teased “I’ve seen him here late at night” he pointed out. She rolled her eyes “him and Megan” Clarke drawled “in case you didn’t notice, out girls are joined at the hip, so instead of preparing dinner at two places, we go where the girls are” she shrugged.  Murphy snorted “yeah, you keep telling yourself that” he grinned.

 

“Leave her alone” Emori walked up and popped him in the back of the head playfully “what she does in her own home is her business.” Clarke smiled at her “thank you” she stuck her tongue out at Murphy. Emori turned to Clarke “seriously, what is going on with you and Alex?” she asked. Murphy snickered, but said nothing. “Nothing, the girls spend so much time together, it doesn’t make any sense for one person to make dinner when we can just eat together” Clarke declared. “makes sense to me” she shrugged. “Do you really believe that crap?” Murphy snorted, looking at her. “It doesn’t matter what I believe” Emori retorted “Or what you believe?” she added, leveling her gaze at him. “Yeah” Clarke agreed, hands on her hip. Murphy held up his hands “I yield” he laughed “do what you want.” Clarke grinned victoriously “I will, now go on your date and leave me alone” she pushed him toward Emori.

 

“mom, mom, mom” Clarke looked down to see Madi waving at her “I was wondering where you were” Clarke told her. “Can Megan and I go to grandma’s?” she asked. “go ahead” Clarke told her “just stay there. We’re having dinner there tonight, so Alex and I will join you two later” she told them. With a victorious hoot, the girls ran off. “Ooh look who has time for a little extra-curricular fun” Murphy teased. “Go away before I throw you over this ledge” she retorted. He laughed softly, taking Emori’s hand and heading to his house. Clarke shook her head and started walking to Alex’s house.

 

Before she got there, she ran into Bellamy. “Hey” she greeted him. “How’s Echo doing?” she asked. Bellamy grunted “wishing she would stop tossing her cookies and swearing she hates me right now” he grinned proudly. “go to her and laugh about that, I dare you” Clarke grinned at him. He snorted “I haven’t lost my mind yet” he retorted. “Have you told your sister, yet?” she asked. He laughed softly “not yet, but we will soon” he replied. “How is she doing?” Clarke asked. “she’s doing good” he smiled “every once in a while she comes up with Jackson or Miller and has dinner with us.”

 

“How’s Alex?” he asked. “Fine” Clarke shrugged “the girls keep us busy most of the time.”  Bellamy knew that much, it was nice to see Madi get to be a kid again. “where are M&M?” he asked, calling them by the name they’d been dubbed by the villagers. “They went to mom and Marcus’ house” she told him. “We’re having dinner there tonight, so I told them to just stay there and we’d catch up with them.”

 

Bellamy grinned “oooh, Alex get to meet the parents” he teased. Clarke rolled her eyes “he already knows my parents” Clarke pointed out “but not in this capacity” Bellamy pointed out. “you’re as bad as Murphy” she shook her head “We’re friends, we eat together because our girls spend every waking moment together” she repeated what she told Murphy. “And the sleeping ones, too” he cocked his head at her, waiting for a rebuttal. Clarke sighed “Murphy has Emori. You and Echo have the baby to concern yourself with” she muttered “how can you two possibly have time to worry about me?” she asked. “We make time for you” he grinned at her.

 

She laughed softly “do me a favor, don’t” she rolled her eyes. She was glad for the promised peaceful lifestyle, it had allowed all of them to get past all the hurt their words and actions had caused. Unfortunately, it also gave some people more time to watch the relationship between Clarke and Alex grow into something that was more than a friendship, though neither of them admitted it. He grinned “I’ll think about it” he retorted. Echo stuck her head out of their cabin and called for him. She saw Clarke and waved at her. Clarke waved back, smiling. “I have something to help her stop throwing up” he held out some herbs Clarke recognized. “Try crackers, too” she told him. He nodded “thanks, I will” he turned toward the cabin. “Tell Alex I said hi” he grinned at her. “Goodbye Bellamy” she sighed patiently, shaking her head. She heard him laugh as he headed home.

 

“Hey” she walked into Alex’s house without knocking. The girls spent so much time at one place or the other, the adults didn’t bother to knock anymore. “Hey back” he returned, “are we still on for dinner at your parent’s tonight?” he asked. She nodded “the girls are already at my parent’s house. I told them to stay there and we’d see them for dinner.” He laughed “I bet Abby is in heaven, having two girls to spoil” he chuckled. Clarke scoffed “I seriously think she is a better grandmother than she ever was a mother” she sighed. Alex laughed “most mothers are” he grinned.

 

“So” he pulled her into his arms “since the girls are gone for a while, does that mean we have some teenager free time?” he asked. She denied to Bellamy and Murphy that anything was going on with Alex, but they both knew that wasn’t true. At first, Clarke stayed in her own cabin when Madi would go to Megan’s house for dinners or to stay the night; but first Megan than Alex started inviting her, telling her there was no reason for her to cook a meal for one person, when she could just come over. After a few months of that, Alex began to show up at her house for dinner when the girls were there. The evenings that followed usually morphed into some sort of _family_ game night” or just relaxing together like a family, resulting in the two of them becoming closer.

 

Clarke still wasn’t sure she was ready to love anyone again, but she enjoyed spending time with Alex and the more time they’d spent together, the closer they’d become. In that time, he’d managed to slip past her defenses, and while no declarations of eternal love had happened, they found themselves in what the others in the village called a committed sexual relationship.

The whole thing was a little too public knowledge for Clarke, who wanted to try to blend in. However, between Madi being the little social bug she was and Alex being the village leaders, she somehow found their “relationship” the talk of the village. She shrugged “depends on what you want to do with that ti…” Alex cut her words off claiming her lips with his. “I could be convinced” she spoke breathlessly when he broke off the kiss a few minutes later. Alex laughed and scooped her into his arms “You know, Murphy and Bellamy are giving me a hard time about us” she grinned. “Want me to banish them?” he chuckled. “No, we can let them stay” she smiled “Emori and Echo don’t deserve that.”

 

“well in that case, how about we enjoy our kid free time?” his voice was low and husky. “I think that sounds like a great ideal” she agreed, wrapping her arms around his neck and drawing his head down. He closed the distance between them with a searing kiss. He carried her to his bedroom and lowered her to the bed “I love it when the girls go away in the middle of the day” he grinned undoing the buttons on her shirt. Clarke sighed when he pulled it off and began nuzzling her neck. “Stop thinking so hard” he insisted, tipping her head to meet his gaze “the girls are fine and as much of a fuss as people make over what we’re doing, nobody cares” he assured her. His lips moved lower down her body, as did his hands. When his mouth closed over one taut nipple and his hand slid into her pants, Clarke lost the ability to think, let alone care what anyone else thought.

 

 

 

 


End file.
